An Opportunity!

I think as Christians we always want that opportunity to share Christ with someone. There are times when we leave from some where and kick ourselves for never saying a word to that person about God. Well, today the opportunity was before me. I had a student ask "why do we have Christmas?" I didn't hesitate and just went right into explaining that Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. She then asked where Santa Claus fit in. So, I pulled up some information and explained that as well. I also explained the that candy cane story which got into the virgin birth, sin and how Christ died for the sins of the world. The white was for purity and the red stripes were for the beating that Jesus took.

Let me back up for a second. The first thing was my students had a journal entry that read " What is the ultimate gift?" One student asked if I had ever heard the song Mary Did You Know, and I explained that it was my favorite Christmas song. He came over and sat by me and told me that he was singing that song on Sunday at his church. I asked if it would bother him if I came to hear him sing, so Sunday I will go to Hope Baptist Church to hear my student sing Mary Did You Know. Several of the students were asking what kind of song it was, so I pulled it up and played it for them. I think that is what prompted the question of Why do we have Christmas.

I am grateful for the opportunity to share with my students.

Getting Older

I am not saying this because I want sympathy or wishes but my birthday is coming up next Friday and I am so not happy about it. Please do not get me wrong I am so grategul that God has blessed me with another year of life but I am so frustrated with where I am not that it is making me depressed. I do not think I have ever suffered or have dealt with depression but I am and feel that I have been since the end of the school year. This stinks. Let me explain where I am going with this and why I feel the way that I feel.

I have always dreamt of being married and having children. I remember has a child talking about when I would get married and when I would have my first child. Yes, I know we can not predetermine when all these things will take place but most girls dream these ideas. I wanted to get married at the age of 25 and have my first child at the age of 27. Well, none of this has happened. I will be turning 35 and I ask the question why have I wanted this and never had the chance to experience it. I walk down the halls of my school (where I teach) and see young girls pregnant and I ask, "God, why are they able to have a kid and I am not?" then my heart starts to feel heavy. Yes, I know it is a consequence for their actions and they are going about it the worng way but still, come on. I go to the mall or out to dinner and I see couples holding hands or with their arms around each other, and ask, "why am I not in a relationship?" I want to have that relationship. I have always said that I am not settling and I am rethinking that, almost the right time the right place. No lectures please! I am frustrated with my self and God, why won't he give this to me, what haven't I done for him to not to allow me to be in a relationship and have children? I am tired of people telling me you are still young you can have children even after 40, no I won't. I do not want to be older and have children for many reasons. I have thought about adopting but I do not think it is fair to the child because it is difficult as a single parent to raise and child and it is not fair to me because I wouldn't have the support needed to raise a child. Plus, a child needs both a mom and a dad. Could I raise a child on my own, more than likely but again I want my child to have both parents. So, when I see children my heart breaks because I long to have a family of my own. When I am with my family and their children are around I am sad because I do not get to experience this. I think I have finally come to realize that I am not having children and I am some what ok with that thought, but it still hurts at times.

As far as not having a spouse; there are days that I am grateful I am still single but then there are the days that I would like to come home and have someone there. When I have had a bad day it; would be nice to have a shoulder to lean on or the arms that will hold you. When tragedy takes place is when I want this more than ever. A friend called me the other day to check on me, which I was having a horrible day but wouldn't express it to him. He continued to ask and finally I said to him, "I have learned to deal with stress, and everything else on my own, so telling you is not going to do any good." This was wrong, I should have opened up but I couldn't. I know that I have friends and family that are there for me but it is different. I want all that comes with beng in a relationship. I want the right relationship, a man that is going to love me no matter what, that will be there for me in all situations, that will drop whatever so that he can be there for me. WHY DON'T I HAVE THIS?????? I feel like I am at a point in my life that this is the next thing. So, where is he? No one has answers for me and I dont really expect any one to give me an answer or to even say they understand what I am feeling. No, you may be in the same situation but I really don't think you know what or how I am feeling.

Sorry, I know I have some what vented but this is some times good for me. The verse below maybe taken out of context but this is a verse that people hve told me over the years. Ok, well if God gave me this desire (and I do at times believe that) then why am I so unhappy about not being in a relationship? Why can't I accept the fact that if he gave me this desore then eventually it will happen? Well, I don't know and I am sure you don't either. Here is one last thought. Maybe it is not God's plan for me to get married and have children but then I ask why do I want to be married to badly if children are not in the picture. Why do most people get married?, because they want to have sex or because they have to get married. Oh yeah, and that they love each other, which is very rare these days. I will shout it to the roof top, I WANT TO BE MARRIED TO A WONDERFUL MAN!!!!!!!!
Then I am reminded of this verse and even though it really doesn't help I have to remember that He is in control and I am not. It is still frustrating. Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.




Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart

Summers Over

Summer is quickly coming to an end and I must say this has been a summer like no other. I must say that summer started off pretty crappy and it only seemed to set the tone for the rest of the summer. Not to rehash the first part of summer (not going to) but here is how the rest of the summer went. My very first week of summer was spent at Kids Camp in Ocala, which wasn't that bad but it surely wasn't what I had experienced before during kids camp. I really don't think I was mentally or spiritually prepared to doing or going. All in all is wasn't that bad of a week. Then once I got back the next few weeks were me trying to figure out what I needed to do about work, school (masters program), completing the first semester of my masters program, ministry/church, and still dealing with the left overs from the last day of school. I was an emotional wreck. By the time July rolled around I was (or at least I thought I was) ready for our usual vacation at crescent beach for the week. Two days into the vacation I got news that really upset me and brought back some unfinished feelings (probably the best way to describe it). It is so true what people say; out of sight out of mind. That was the case for about three or four years and here comes my emotional wreck state again. Tuesday of my vacation I drove back to Jax to welcome home a very dear friend. Driving is always a way for me to clear my head and just be alone. Yes I cried a little on my way back in over this situation but yet knew I needed to just let go and forget it. As I got closer to the north side I passed an area on the highway that just truly broke me. It was the kind of broken that when you cry you can't catch your breathe. This went on for a little bit and I really tried to just let it go so that no one would know that I was upset. I spent time that day with people that are very dear to me and then finally headed back to the beach. I think I am ok now, tears or a good cry sometimes helps. The rest of the week at the beach was ok, the weather sucked which didn't make things that great, just made the week go by that much faster. Then Monday we got back from the beach I had to take a test for my certification (due to the stupid Federal Government Laws) which could determine keeping my job or not. Well, after a very long 3.5 hours of taking a test the results were not pass. I suck! This was the start of another down hill spiral. I was so upset and just wanted to crawl into a hole and be alone. I get several phone calls asking me how I did and it was all is could to do get through the conversation. So for the rest of the week I was very upset and frustrated. The next few weeks after that were me trying to figure out how to get through this and out of this situation. Yes, I had dear friends and family that were very encouraging but it didn't seem to really help. I just wanted to be alone. Then there were some things that took place around my house that would just really irritate me but yet I had no control over. Things break or wouldn't work right and the frustration escalated. Then a weekend came up where I took a drive alone and really cleared my head and started to really figure out what God and I needed to do. It is a little clear but still not sure how it will all pan out or how I will affect the situation and outcome. The past two messages that I have heard through Celebration Church have really given me some answers and I am in the process of releasing and taking steps in the right direction. Last night when I finally went to bed I didn't turn the TV on, instead I layed there in the dark and silence and just listened and talked with God. I have missed that. I mainly prayed for friends and their situations and that God would use me. Then I drifted off to sleep and rested the best I have all summer.

So, a summer of lots of frustrations and tears. June through the first week of August I was in the valley, having what most people would call a pitty party, and now by the grace of God I am slowly climbing my way back to the mountain top. Last weekend I wish I would have had the song " I'm coming back to the heart of worship" but I found another song by Chris Tomlin that was just a good and really helped me to release. I now have to talk with a few people but I am comfortable because I know that this is what God wants me to do and where I should be. I didn't realize until the last few months how important being a part of ministry is, I have felt lost and I am ready to get back to being a part of God's plan. This hasn't been an easy summer but it definitely has been a summer of learning and growth. I have a test to take and pass which the third time is a charm. LOL! I will be ok through it no matter the outcome. I am ready to move forward. So, sadly enough , you may want to have me checked out, I am some what ready to get started back to a routine and this journey that God has waiting for me.
As I close this summer in the next two days I am prepared to take on what is placed before me. I may fail but I know that God will pick me back up, dust me off and set me on my way again. There is no turning back and honestly I don't want to.

If you are reading this please keep me in your prayers. If I may be so bold to ask here are some specifics you can pray for:
1. I pass this test.
2. That I share my faith with my students and truly minister to them
3. That God will use me at school more than he ever has before
4. The ministry I step into
5. God would use me to be a good friend
6. Words to speak (encouraging)
7. Boldness
8. Patience
9. Health
10. 2unspoken

God, you have truly taken me from frustrations to excitement. Thank you for not giving up on me and for loving me unconditionally. Help me to carry this kind of love to people that cross my path every day. Amen!

Summer Coming to an End

So summer is coming to an end so I thought I would reflect back. The start of summer for me was not what I wanting. (Not going to elaborate on that) Lets just say I was very sad. The first week of summer for me was spent at children's camp which was fun but yet frustrating; can't really explain why it just was. Maybe I wasn't mentally, physically, or spiritually ready for the week. The bad news just continued to come my way and I got even more frustrated. Once we were home from camp and I got some much needed sleep and really started thinking about things, which didn't make things any better. I started thinking about our vacation and just being able to relax at the beach and really take in some much needed quiet time. Nope, that didn't happen. Two days into the week I was hit in the face with something that I thought I had let go of years ago but when I was face to face with it I just wanted to crawl in a hole. The rest of the week was less than eventful and I could not get the rest that I wanted. Once I got back home things really started to weigh heavy on me. I couldn't sleep which made me feel sick. I guess I had a jenny pity party for a little while. There are so many thoughts and emotions that ran through me that I didn't know what else to do. I was frustrated about different situations be it work, ministry, personal or family that I just couldn't shake. I tried to take this on myself but in the end I knew was a stupid thing to do because as always I make things worse. One morning I woke up and realized that I didn't have to go through this alone. Not only do I have friends that care about me and are the for me but most importantly I have a heavenly father that wants to help and take care of it. I have taken a step back and have realized that God will allow things in my life to make me stronger and I know that He knows what is best for me as long as I allow Him to take over and do His will in my life. I will say that through this I have not been faithful, in fact I will say that I have been anything but faithful and for that I am ashamed. I can tell others what they should do or help them seek God but when it came to me I thought that He wasn't there for me. I know this is wrong and even when I wasn't wanting to listen he was right there trying to tell me to trust him and that every thing was going to be ok. I wont say that every day is easy and that I don't think about things that have taken place but I have to remember that this is all taking place for a reason and I have to trust God in all things. Going through a hard time, seek God and he will get you through it.

Last Day of School!

Just before the end of the day our school was filled with sadness. The news of a horrible accident turned into a complete nightmare. Several of our students got together and planned a day at the beach for the last day of school little did they know it would change their lives forever. As the news continued to come in students had started to name names and one name given was a student of mine and another I knew from seeing him in the halls. At this point I was upset but wanting to know more and students at this point knew a lot but not 100% on who or how this all happened. I then received a phone call from one of the teachers that one of my students was in the accident and killed, this is hard. I tried not to cry because I still had students in my room and I needed to be strong for them (that was a wrong thought). As they left out of my room at 11:30 I began to cry and one of the guys leaving asked Ms. Smith are you sad? I should have spoke to them to let them know how I felt about the horrible accident and that I was sad and upset. As the bell rang Mr. Clark announced a mandatory faculty meeting, at this point I was shacking and had several text messages asking questions and letting me know they were praying for me. I get into our meeting and Mr. Clark starts of by not wanting to say the names of the students involved but I knew if he didn't I would be able to do anything else, so he decided to tell us the names of the students involved. I wont mention the names but you can go to news4jax and find that yourselves. The driver discharged tonight was a student of mine and I am so hurting for him right now, I cant imagine how he feels about all of this, his girl friend also in the accident is still in critical condition. The next name was a boy, who did not survive the accident, that I would see out in the halls in front of my room, I will always remember his Georgia hat, Georgia t-shirt and flip flops even when it was cold, he was a very polite young man. The next name was another student of mine. I couldn't hold it in any longer, I started to cry, but tried the best I could to hold it in until I got alone in my room. The other names that were mentioned I did not know who they were but am still just as broken up over them as I am for the ones that I knew. I cant begin to process how these parents are feeling right now, or what the driver is feeling. What do you say to the parents, what do you say to the students who survived, how to you share with the students who will return to school in August? I feel like I am stuck in a box and I my hands are tied, I don't know what to do or even to say. I have so many emotions,thoughts and feelings at times I just want to cry other times I want to through something. They were so young, is a statement that has been repeated. I know God has a bigger plan from all of this and I pray that students will learn the importance of safety.

Here is my challenge to those who read this. Please always remember your seat belt even if you are going a short distance. Parent tell your children you love them, hug them, spend time with them, and have not moments of regret. I will forever have the memory of these students in my thoughts and am truly broken over this whole thing. May God comfort the families and those students that survived as well as the friends as well as other teachers of these students.

Transition and Change

You know a few years ago I absolutely hated change but over the last five years it seems to be my motto. I have changed schools, subject areas, classrooms, houses twice, and now in ministry. I have been praying for a while now where God wanted me to be. I knew that I couldn't continue to work with the youth for many reasons. I have been a part of the youth ministry at PL for 7 years now and have loved every minute of what God has done in my life. I could write a book about how God has touched my life over the last 7 years. If it wasn't for Mike Lewis and the encouragement and prayer from others I might not have gotten through the general knowledge exam. If it wasn't for the support of close friends and much needed prayer and support there is a lot that I don't think I would have gotten through.I am so thankful to Tommy Mallard for holding my grandmothers funeral and for being there for my family and to Kevin who was there as well. Also, for the hospital visits that you both made while she was in the hospital. Words can't express thank you enough for that. Many people set the example of truly living the Christian life and what it meant to follow Christ and for that I am very grateful. I have memories that will be with me forever and I know that I will look back over the years and laugh. I wonder at times where my life would be if it wasn't for the members and love that was expressed over the years. I never thought I would teach a group of girls about different very tough topics, there was one that I remember as if it were yesterday, I had never experience God the way that I did during that time. Then the opportunities to attend conferences and camps and minister to the youth. I have been touched by the lives of these young people as well as encouraged to see the faith that they have. I cant begin to say how grateful I am to be allowed the opportunity and privilege to be a part of an awesome ministry and church. With the direction from God I feel that it is time for me to step out of the youth and see what God has for me next. I know a little over a year ago God gave me a vision about speaking to females about who we are in Christ and how he sees us. Maybe that is the next step and what God wants me to do. I am not sure of the next step but I know this is what I need to do. So many thoughts and emotions but I do know that this is what God is calling me to do because I have a peace about stepping out. I have told some of the students and will make it known to all, I am still available if they need anything. I love those students as if they were my own children. So, you see over the years I have experienced change in my life and some times that change is what is needed for God to be at work in my life and in the lives of others.

Mission Trip

There are a few blogs that I enjoy reading and two of the people's blogs I read are apart of a team going to India for the next ten days. Please join me in praying for these people while they are gone.

Don't Judge a Book by It's Cover!

I am sure many of you will be ready about the same person in a variety of ways over the next few days but I have to put my two sense in to this one. Here is a thought before I get into the meat of this blog. What does it mean to you when you hear some one say "Dont judge a book by it's cover!"? There are so many different reactions I have to this and I have said but yet done the same thing. We look at appearance and misjudge who that person is completely. Let me explain. Last night on Britain's Got Talent an older lady (age 47) gets out on stage and says she wants to sing, just about everyone in the audience laughed as well as the judges. She sang I Dreamed a Dream and when the first sound was heard every one was in awe. They couldnt believe that someone that looked like this could sound so good, could have a voice so beautiful. Every one in the audience was on their feet applauding and cheering for her. She finished the song strong and got the highest rated of three yeses.

Here is the point to this, and I am just as guilty. We look at the outward and say because of the way they look: clothes, hair, teeth, skin color, size, eyes, fashion or not, shoes, just the over all appearance and say there is no way they can to that, or I am not going to be seen with that person. BUT what we are missing is what they are filled with. We havent even given them the chance to see what they are capable of what really is on the inside because we are so self centered that we care more about appearance than we do ability. Sadly enough we judge a person for appearance in every situation. I am not going to speak to that person they look weird, I am not going to move over to the empty seat for them to sit by me did you see what she has on, I am not going to go to dinner with that person he/she smells funny, etc. I could go on with these excuses but in actuality they could be the next what ever and even if they are not why are we judging them for what they look like and not considering the heart at all. Guys and girls only date those popular people, fashionable, looks good on the outside what people like to call eye candy kinda stuff. Yes, I agree we like to be attracted to the person but isnt it really the heart of a person that is most attractive, shouldnt we consider the heart first and then every thing else should fall into place. Shouldnt we get to know them before we ever say no they cant do that, I cant date them, or what ever the reason is that they just wont work out. But at least you first gave them the chance and got to know them. Who knows maybe by doing this you could meet your soul mate, the next CEO of a company, the next American Idol, the next Apprentice, the next America's Top Model but we first looked at the inside and gave them a chance.

The next time you see someone that isnt up to your standards by the way of appearance stop and think about Susan Boyle, who will probably become a famous singer now, and how she was judge by her appearance and once she sang it was absolutely a beautiful sounding voice. A judge made the state "our sinful actions" wrongly judging someone. I hope the next time we start to judge someone for the way they look we will stop and correct ourselves and at give them a chance. Isnt that what Jesus did for us. He didnt say man look at the sin in their life, or she is ugly, or stupid, or fat, or too thin, or they dont have the up to date clothes, no he said Romans 10:13 " For all who call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved" no you didnt read to say any thing else but ALL. Thank God he doesnt save us according to our lives or our standards because we would never be saved because of how ugly we all are and how sinful we are.

Matthew 7: 1-2"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

A new Program

When I graduated from college about 6 years ago I didnt think I would go back and get my masters although I have thought about being a dean (assistant Principal) one day. Cant do one with having a masters degree in Ed Leadership. Back in January I started the process of filling out an application to Saint Leo University which will hold an off site class here at EW. What better opportunity than this to be able to get my masters. I have prayed hard about this and talked with different people on whether or not this was a good idea. Here are the thoughts I have. To advance in education I need to have my masters, it is not so much getting paid more but the fact that I would be able to advance in my role of being a teacher. I after really asking my self why and right an essay about why I wanted to in the Ed Leadership program I realized the contact I would have with a variety of students. Who knows maybe after I get this I wont be cut out to actually do this type of work but I do believe that God has opened the doors for me to further my education. I must say I am very scared about the work that I will have to do and the research that will go with it. I got all the finalization last week about being admitted into the program along with my financial aide information. I was excited but yet wondering why I decided to do this because it is a lot of work. I hope I will be good at this and will finish strong with the work that is needed to be done. I start my classes May 4 with one online class and one actual face to face class. I will have 8 weeks in this class and then I will be off for the summer and start back up in August. I will be done with this program by the summer of 2011. I have searched through all other schools including Florida and UNF and didnt find anything that would work around my schedule the way this one would. I will be in class on Thursday evenings from 5-9 and still be done in 3 years. I am really doing this.

Please if you are reading this I would appreciate your prayers during this time. Here is what I would ask for you to pray about: that I would not be a procrastinator, that I would complete all assignments better than satisfactory, that I would complete this program with a high GPA, that I understand and comprehend every thing that I read and do. Finally, that when it comes time for me to take the Florida Education Leaders Exam that I pass the first time I take it. Also, that through all of the work I dont lose focus of the end goal as well as focus on God. I will be a very busy person during the semester but look forward to the challenge that is before me.

What is wrong with me?

For the past several weeks maybe even a month now I have been in a slump. I called it the other day a disconnect. I dont know why and I dont understand it but that is what it feels like. I feel like my QT is not meaningful and that my prayers have been hitting a brick wall. So, I have felt discouraged and disconnected in many ways. I think one reason is the stress that is going on with work not knowing how things are going to go next year and having to take a test (which I hate tests) that can determine whether or not I will have a job or not. I know that God is in control and he has given me everything I need to realize this but I know my inabilities and it scares me. Well again this morning through twitter the ESV verse was Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans if have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" This has been so encouraging to me.

Here is another thing that I have been dealing with call me crazy but I have. Being a leader(which I really dont consider myself to be) can be very difficult but at the same time very rewarding. I have felt like I have been doing this alone for so many different reason,weird I know because there are many great leaders that I work with but for some reason I dont feel like I should be there or that like I am not apart of things. I read this blog today that somewhat made sense to me about how I have been feeling. www.withoutwax.tv Transformal Leadership (I recommend reading it) I know that I am not really alone but yet I am. No one thinks like I do, no one has the desire that I do. Well, let me explain that. Every ones passion and desire are different. We may love the students and want to see them living a God filled life but everyone thinks differently and has different passions for the students. Maybe you get it better than I am explaining it. Any way, I dont think there is anything wrong with me. Someone else told me that feeling a little disconnected is some thing that everyone goes through. I want this to be done with and I dont ever want to feel this way again. Here is my plan and I hope God shows up for it.

Seeing that this week is only a four day week of work and Friday is good Friday I plan on spending time with God. As morbid as it sounds I know but I need to remember everything that he went through for me. So here is the challenge for me and you if you desire to take it on. Friday take the time to read God's word where ever you choose, Matthew 26 - 28 and Mark 14:27- 16, Luke 22- 24 these chapters and verses is all that took place. I know a lot of verses but look at what Jesus went through so that we can spend eternity with him. I want to take it all that in and really appreciate what Jesus did for me and try to understand how hard it was for God to watch his son be tortured for the sins that I have committed not to mention the sins of this world.

Enjoy Easter and may you be filled with the resurrected Jesus alive and sitting at the right hand of the father.

Ask and you shall receive

Well, a while ago I blogged about Red Birds. Let me update you on a few things. This last month I feel has been pretty stressful. I really felt alone in such a big world. For a while I was begging God to show me a red bird because I needed to make sure he was still there. Well, days, weeks and over a month had gone by and I hadnt seen the red bird and so I said, "Ok God when I least expect it you will allow me to see one." That is exactly what he did. I had been given some information and I didnt really know what to do with the info or how I should respond but this is what I did. I prayed and asked God to show me how I should respond or react. The very next day I was driving my aunt to pick up her truck and as I drove down my road the in front of me was a red bird. I got goose bumps from head to toe and I was so grateful that God would reveal this to me at such a perfect time. God is amazing and he knows exactly when to show things and allow things to happen.

A quick explanation of the red bird. A while back (several years)I really wanted to make sure that being married and having a family was a desire from God. SO, I prayed and asked God that if this was his plan in my life eventually I wanted to see a red bird. It didnt happen right away but I did see a red bird and I trust that God will provide this. It is a way for me to remember that God is right there with me always and he hears my prayers and requests. I desire to be married and have a family one day but more importantly is that God's will in my life is evident. I praise God every day that I am single because of what God allows me to do. One day God will provde me with a husband and I trust that he has the perfect one already picked out for me.

Recap of the week!

As I blogged earlier, a week ago I received a notice about not being highly qualified and that meant my job was in jeopardy. As always, I panicked and that didn't help matters. I stressed all weekend and by Monday I was very upset and concerned as to what would happen with my job. I called downtown to speak with someone in certification and her response just made things worse. Take a test me and two of them. There is no way I can do this especially with the pressure now on. So, all day I was made upset, stressed and frustrated. So, texting all of this and posting on facebook, I knew I had people praying about this for me. (For those of you who were praying for me, God answered your prayers and I am so grateful for friends like you, so thank you for praying for me) Tuesday morning I woke up and felt horrible and stupid. That morning before I got up to start the day I just apologized to God that I didn't trust him enough to take care of this. I gave this situation over to him and said "God you put me in the position of teaching and if this is your plan then you will guide me through this." Well, I must say he has. Yesterday I was going over a few things and I started looking over the material to study. I have been talking with one of the teachers and she was dealing with the same thing and the information she was given was completely different from what I was given. Today, I get a phone call about HQ (highly qualified) and she forwarded an email to me for me to fill out. Now all I need is for my principal to sign off on it and fax it off. God has been working this out the entire time. Even when I didn't allow him to have control he was still working it out. I feel bad that God wasn't the first that I went to and that I tried to do this on my own. The next time a trial is in front of me I hope I am reminded quickly just how much God loves me and will guide me through the situation.

During this whole thing I have been reading the book called The Shack. Wow, I love this book. It has opened my eyes to so many different emotions. I will blog about it later but just wanted to share briefly about this week. God is good. Trust in Him.

Again thank you to those who have been praying for me.

Frustration/Stressed

ok, I guess this will be a time to vent. As you know I am a teacher at a local high school. Every one is still not sure about cuts and how the budget situation will effect us individually or even as a department. I have over the past few weeks said I wasn't concerned I would be fine only because of the certification that I hold. I trusted that God would take care of this and I wouldn't worry about it, even if it meant taking a pay cut. Well, Friday I got notification that I am not considered "highly qualified" by the No Child Left Behind Law. I hold a teacher certificate for Special Education but I at this point not qualified because I do not have a certification for a cor subject area. I spoke with someone downtown today and they advised me that I would need to take two different tests, which are $75 dollars each. I got really upset then. I really didn't understand how or why this effected me the way that it did. I have been teaching for 5 years and have never been notified of this before now. Oh by the way I have until June 30 to pass the required test. I do not test well and with the pressure that I have now I am not feeling confident at all. I pulled off the testing guide for the three different tests I am considering taking and now I feel very inadequate to take these tests. I have never taken math higher than algebra I and this will include geometry. I have thought about asking another math teacher to work with me but I am not sure about that. I don't know how all of this will work out and I am clueless as to what will happen to me. I don't like uncertainty and the feeling of hopelessness (only in this situation). I know the right thing is to trust in God but at this point I am looking at my inadequacies. I am thinking I don't have what it takes to take and pass this test. I don't know what to do or even the first step to solving this problem. With every thing that education is facing I feel like this is one more thing that keeps us from teaching. When I was in college trying to pass the Math part of the CLAST it took me a few chances before actually passed it, and I must admit that all of those thoughts and memories are rushing through my brain. I don't like this feeling. So, if you are reading I beg for your prayers through all of this. Here are some specifics: that I get a test date soon, that I am able to study and retain all that I study, that I pass this the first time I take it and through this all I don't give up/get even more frustrated/lose my testimony or my temper. I think at this point my biggest concern is, is this really what God wants me to do! I feel confused, frustrated and stupid. I love teaching and do not want to lose my job but the obstacles are being through at me and this one seems to be harder for me to cross than the rest of them.

Just when you feel a sense of rest, trust, and contentment. Not boasting but I even felt a little closer to God. Another test/trial and at this point I am failing miserably. I feel like I am back up against a wall with no where to go. I know in the end God will have taught me something through this, I am ready to learn my lesson and be done with it.

Memories

I had a weird moment yesterday. In conversation two different times I was remind or a past memory that really brought me to tears. I wont go into detail but it really upset me and at times still does. I have often questioned why God would allow me to go through that and feel the pain that I felt. Last night after the conversation I had I was sitting on the couch and was really trying to figure out why this still brought me so much pain. I knew I had gotten over it and was, what I thought, past all of that. I had to stop and pray for a specific person and pray for safety and guidance in their life. Then I had to ask God why I was feeling this again. Here is what God said. I need for you to share your experience so that others will have an idea what to do. If you let them see your pain then maybe they will trust me to let me (God) take care of them. The road I lead them and you down is not going to be easy but trust and know that I (God) am in control and will guide and protect you. You will suffer some painful situations but in the end it will make you stronger and allow you to share what I am doing in and through you.

This morning when I got up I was quickly reminded of this pain and I sat on the edge of my bed and said "God I don't want to feel this any more, remove this from life and let me move on." I know that we go through experiences in life so that we will one day be able to help someone else and those memories can be painful. I have learned a lot from this situation past and present I know that God allowed me to go through all of that so that I would be stronger and trust him more. I am thankful that God allowed me to share this experience with someone else and I hope that they will allow God to guide them in their time of need. We are not promised an easy life with no heart ache but a life promised to eternity if we except and believe in the Son. Trust him and allow him to guide you in this life he has given you.

Live Love Conference

Let's start by saying that I always attend student functions as a chaperone thinking how am I going to minister to these students, or how is God going to use me. Every time I have walked away from any youth function I am amazied at how God spoke to me. Here is a recap of the sessions. God is awesome!

Session one: Let me start by saying that I did not hear the entire message because during the worship it was really hot and I felt some what sick so I walked out side to cool off. (weird feeling for me) As I came back in I stood in the back and listened to what Francis Chan was speaking on. Revelation 4:4-6 He was talking about the image of God and how we view God. I walked away thinking that my view that I have developed was not the picture of God that I was getting while I was listening. I had viewed a littler God, and not giving him the credit of just how big, powerful, awesome, merciful and loving he really is. I know that I will never be able to phathum just how glorious God is but I need to continue to strive to see every aspect of God and while doing this my prayer time needs to change. I need to focus more on God and praise him for who is he and less on the request. God knows what I need and has the perfect plan for my life.

Session two: This session started off by giving the illustration of how we live on the ball suspended in the universe. God designed it just so and has the power to do with it what he wants. The number of stars that are out there that can fit thousands of other stars inside that one particular one and here we are these small people living on the earth suspended in the universe. I sat an evaluated my faith in God and my trust in him. There was also this idea of allowing things to distract us from what God wanted to do with us. So, at the end of the session I really asked God to show me more of his plan and vision for my life. I am not going to understand every thing that he wants me to do, but that is ok but he knows what is best for me. I have always been one to say that I want to be with my family and close by them but this was one statement that stuck in my head, "dont stop and say good by to your friends and family just go". How many times have I said to God wait I need to do this first or I can do that because it is too far from my family. No, I pray that is not the response I give any more.

Session three: This last session Francis came out holding his little girl. I was in awe at the illustration of the relationship God wants with me by him holding his daughter. He was standing on this stage holding in his arms his 5 year old duaghter and says, "God desires to have this type of relationship with him" God wants us to crawl up in his lap and put his arms around us and just hold us. More personal God wants to wrap his arms around me and love on me. Some times I need to stop and allow him to hold me and be my daddy (Aba Father). I so loved this thought of just sitting with God in such an intimate way. I need to allow God that kind of time.

The over all weekend was amazing. I have gotten a different vision of God and how I need to allow him to have control. I need to let go of things and let God. I need to pick up my cross and follow him allowing nothing to hold me back. I need to stand every day every minute of the day with my hands open wide saying to God that this is what I have take it and use me. My challenge I surrender every thing trusting that God will guide me, take care of me, love on me and be enough for me.

If you read this I encourage you to check out the book Crazy Love. Also, learn how to live the love the God has called us to Live. Don't be a clanging symbol be sincere and allow God to use your voice to love others. This is a statement that someone said a long time ago "and sometimes use words". Our actions need to live up to what God says.I pray that I will be able to LIVE LOVE!

I could go on and on about this weekend. I hope you get something from what I have writen out. I am so very greatful for the opportunity to attend this conference, I am greatful to be a part of PLUTH and for the experiences God has allowed me to have over the years. I know ministry is not easy and I have learned that my feelings are going to be hurt, people are not always going to agree with what I say or do but if God is in it then I am good. I dont ever want to hold back on what God wants to do with my life.

Ministry Outreach

Please note that this is a local church here Jacksonville that is doing outreach to a community. I have blocked out names of the people in the community but please be in prayer over what is being done. I worked with Sam last year and I know that God is at work and I wanted to share what He is doing in the lives of this community. I hope it sets fire to what God is wanting to do in you and with you.


Saturday update time!

I want to start this week with some excerpts from a book called Soul Obsession by Nicky Cruz (it’s a great book if anyone needs a recommendation). I feel like these excerpts fully encompass what we’re praying for, hoping for, and experiencing on Saturdays (and every other day of our lives!):

He does so much more than save us; he restores us. Whatever Satan has stolen, God gives back. Whatever time we’ve lost to sin, he reclaims through love. The wounds inflicted upon us by the world are healed by his wonderful grace. This is the Jesus we worship—the Savior who died so that we can live! This is the message we bring to a world still bound by sin. This is the only testimony worth telling—the only thing that really matters! How can we not shout from the rooftops? How can we ever slip into moments of apathy after all that God has done for us? How can we not live with uninhibited passion and zeal, knowing what we know? Understanding what we understand about Satan and his lies? After experiencing the unconditional forgiveness that Jesus brings? How can any man stay silent?

…What will it take for God to finally grab hold and bring about the transformation we need—the transformation we pray for? When will we finally rise up and make a serious dent in Satan’s foothold on the world? The answer is so simple it feels strange to have to say it: we must trust in God for great miracles!

…If there is one thing we have learned through our ministry—through facing the Enemy on his own turf time and time again, day after day, week after week—it is that Satan is a coward. He is a sniveling worm who picks on the most defenseless among us, the most helpless and desperate. Like a playground bully who runs for cover as soon as a kid his size shows up, Satan retreats at the first sign of real power…Do we truly understand the power we have at our fingertips? Do we grasp the significance of the message that we bring to a lost world? Do we comprehend how easily evil can be beaten and revoked by simply opening ourselves up to the moving of the Holy Spirit among us? Do we know what God is capable of doing among us?

God is moving on McDuff Ave., and it’s in large part b/c of all of your prayers and support. Lives are being molded; lives are being changed. ________ came out with us this week (Valentine’s Day) and wrote a few things that stuck out in her mind about the day:

· As I drove up at 7 oclock, two regulars, ____ and ____ were already filling up their bags... we had sooo many sweets, bread and fruit, but it was all gone later in the morning, despite the rain!

· This morning, I was physically uncomfortable. I (along with everybody else, I guess) was wet and cold! If I hadn’t been standing out on McDuff, I would have been in bed asleep with my heated blanket. God really opened my eyes to the suffering that people in Jacksonville endure. And the fact that he is with them in all of it. Sam was telling me about the people that live in the purple house and the fact that they don’t have power… even when its freezing.

· I also saw the brokenness. There were so many smiles, so many "thank yous" and "God bless yous" but through that, I could see through to the brokenness. In the few conversations I had and introductions from Tanys, I found out things about people's lives that were shocking and sometimes heartbreaking. Some people lingered around the table after they had gathered their bags and I had a feeling it was because of the love that they were being shown. I was somewhat nervous about this because I’m not the most outgoing person in the world, but God really filled in the gaps (why do I doubt?). It was easy to love people and talk to people and welcome them and just offer them a smile and handshake and call them by name.

· A dad and his son came up near the end and got some bags of food/ fruit. The dad lived out of town and the son lived in the neighborhood. They used to live on the Southside and the son still goes to elementary school over there. He takes two city buses every morning by himself to get to school! The dad said he was going to come to church and bring the son so he can have a church to walk to on Sunday. I felt like today a lot of people were asking about the church and excited to hear that we were so close. How exciting if more people from the community start coming. Something to pray for.

· ______ giving out Valentines cards and candy to everyone who stopped at the table was another highlight. Some of the people's eyes lit up when they were handed their personalized valentine from ______. What a great way to show God's love.

Great job, _____!


As far as other details, here you go:

It was cold and wet—heavy rains on and off all morning. No fun! We decided to set up (we had so much stuff this week that we had to bring THREE cars!) under the pavilion at the little corner store (where I first set up shop months ago). It took us a good 30 minutes to get everything out and unpacked. Just then, the owner of the shop pulled up and told us to leave!! I wasn’t thrilled (that was a major understatement), but bit my tongue and began moving all our stuff up a block to the ________ house in the pouring rain. ______ kept the baked goods and care packages in her car, and we set the bread under the table covered with a tarp. The fruit stayed out and got washed the old fashioned way! Anyway, thank God that ______ showed up and saw our predicament—and went home and brought back a big tent to set over the table! It truly saved the day—we jerry-rigged the tarp to hang over 1 side of the tent to keep the rain out. By this time lots of people had showed up and had been helping us move the food from the original location, etc. It was awesome to see everyone helping! We heard a lot of people say “I didn’t think you all would be out here today!” and “You all are out here THIS week? In the rain?!?” Ha—it was classic.

To make my usual long-story-short, it was a very powerful day. We had more food than we’ve ever had, and gave every last bit away. I thought it was going to be a slow day, but it turned out (as usual!) to be exactly the right amount of food we needed.

Here are a few highlights:

--Valentine’s Day presents—we received a lot of V-tine’s Day donations and ______ spent a lot of time buying and putting together goody bags—chocolates, V-tine’s cards, etc. Every person that walked up to the table had to go wait by her car as she asked them their names (spelling isn’t easy in the ‘hood!) and filled out individual Valentine cards for everyone. It had to be the highlight of the day—people LOVED the cards/goodies—even the men! I think that it really touched a lot of people’s hearts, and ______ was awesome out there. What an awesome idea—great job, babe! The 3 little kids that always show up were especially blown away (side note: the smallest kid—his name sounds like ____ but spelled like _____. Go figure!). ______ gave out 60 individual cards to people—more people stopped by the table, but they were either too quick to leave or we had run out of cards. What a treat! J

--A coworker’s husband contacted me this week—he works for a big chips manufacturer and every week they have 2-3 big boxes of full-sized bags of chips/popcorn/pretzels, etc. It was great—people really liked getting a bag of chips with their sweets! He thinks they’ll be able to donate the chips every week from here on out. Score!

--Baked goods—once again, the homemade baked goods ruled. ______ drove by to drop off 60 fresh-baked cookies: chocolate dipped snickerdoodle, “Cowboy Cookies” (don’t ask), etc. Someone also made cupcakes with little candy V-tine hearts on them, _____ brought brownies, and _____ and ______ dropped off some brownies and chocolate-covered popcorn balls. Is your mouth watering yet? Seriously, these folks really made a lot of people’s days out there with their treats!! Talk about a spread! Thank you who baked/donated $ for this week!! Even in the rain, the crowds flocked around the table!!!

--My buddy _____ (tear-drop tattoo guy) and his girlfriend stopped by—this kid is so awesome! He looks like the roughest kid you could imagine, but when he comes up to the table he is all smiles and so soft-spoken. He told us that he had won that basketball tournament I dropped him off at last week (it must have been those last-second tips I gave him J ). Cool! They stayed and talked for awhile. I really like _______—something about the way the softest heart shines through the toughest exterior. Our God reigns!

--____ (teenage kid who lives at _______ house—his mom is in jail, remember?) came by and stayed the majority of the morning. He is such nice kid and is so hungry for the love given to him at the table—you can tell how appealing it is to him. Anyway, we picked up him and David again for church the next day (David was really sick, but wanted to come anyway). They came to the first service and really loved the worship. The service was especially powerful Sunday, and both boys came down to receive prayer. _______ had to take them home after the 1st service (I was playing in the band so couldn’t). When they got home, ______ asked if he could come back for the 2nd service!! Awesome! He came up to me right before we started playing and said, “I just had to hear you play again. There’s something powerful going on here today.” He sat alone in the balcony directly above the band to our left. Several times I looked up and saw him with eyes closed, hands stretched out before him worshipping. Statements that _______ later made on Sunday:

“Today was so powerful. I knew that the Lord was here.”
“I love this church.”
“I think I’m going to start sitting by myself during worship…I liked it better b/c I didn’t have to worry about others looking at me if I raised my hands.”
God is working on this kid’s heart, people!

--_______ has also been coming to church the past 2 weeks and seems to really like it (especially the Starbucks coffee!).

--the ______ (the family in the purple house)—bad news: mom has been sick for months and months and it got so bad this week she had to be lifted to Gainesville (over an hour away from here). One of the ladies who used to live with her called me to tell me that they think it’s lung cancer. The kids are staying at their dad’s house and (from what I understand) visiting mom when they can. The prognosis is grave for her. It’s terrible, but here’s what I know: Our God is an awesome God, and He is the Great Physician. He is able to laugh at death b/c He’s already conquered it. Lord, you are so good—even when things look bad, we know that you are good. We ask in boldness that you intervene with ______—interrupt her health status and bring your healing!!! You are above ALL things, and tell that cancer to leave her body in the Name of Jesus—it has no place there. We also ask that this would be her impetus and the earth-rattling event that gets her attention—and focus it on YOU.

Ministry Needs:

--Food (especially homemade baked goods). We’ve got the Publix; we’ve got the fruit donations; but EVERY week it’s the homemade stuff that has saved us and given us EXACTLY the right amount of food! Please contact us if you feel led to bake!

-- Care package items—we need everything right now—toothbrushes, toothpaste, mouthwash, deodorant (men’s and women’s), laundry detergent, soap, hand sanitizer, razors, lotion, shampoo/conditioner, etc—if you think a family can use it, they probably can! IF YOU CAN DONATE IT, WE’LL TAKE IT.

--Bottled water—we’re down to a few cases. I think Walgreens has 24 packs on sale for $3 this week…

--BIKE WEEK—we’re having “Bike Week” on Saturday—if you have ANYTHING bike-related to donate, we will take it (tubes, chains, lube, WHOLE BIKES!, etc.). So far we have somewhere between 7-9 bikes to give away to those who need them, and a few guys volunteering time to work on people’s bikes as they arrive. It’s going to be a HUGE day—lots of people have been asking about Bike Day and are telling their friends to bring their bikes. Also, if you have any know-how with bike repair, we’d LOVE to have you come out to help. Please contact A.D. Simone (alan@owenservices.com) or Danny Domingo (emandmad@vzw.blackberry.net) before Saturday so they have an idea who is coming or what parts are being donated. They are spearheading this shindig and are the guys to talk shop to about bikes.

--Prayer—again, saving the most important for last. Again to quote from that book from the beginning of this email (I hope I don’t get sued for plagiarism!), here’s a prayer that I am pleading over McDuff—please join with me:

Lord, you know the death and bondage that are so evident in those neighborhoods—the total disregard for life, the addictions, the numbness and lifelessness, and the slavery that Satan has yoked those people with... “and we will no longer tolerate it. In the name of Jesus, we bind Satan here and now. We demand that Satan have no more power in this neighborhood…and no more influence in this community. We will no longer tolerate evil in this neighborhood!” We don’t want to get into an argument with the Enemy; we want you to DRIVE HIM OUT with his tail between his legs!

Colossians 2:10:

“…you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.”

Philippians 2:10-11:

“…that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.”

There is a battle being fought before our very eyes. Pray for the victory!

Sam

Sunday Morinng Small Group Lesson

Sunday morning I was a little nervous about the lesson I was going to teach because I felt it was lacking in some areas. The title of the lesson was "Training to be Godly" and the passage was from I Timothy 4:7-10. I went back to the basics with spiritual training. I asked the girls what the first thing they did when they felt God calling them, we prayed. Then what did we do, we got into God's word. So, I talked to them about their prayer life and reference Matthew 6:5-13. I discussed a little about my QT over the last month and all the God was dealing with me about. I wanted the girls to see that prayer is such a vital part of our Christian life. The way we build relationships is by communicating and the way we are going to grow in our relationship with God is to communicate with him and trust him. The next part was talking to them about reading the word. I have had several girls tell me that they struggle with QT. At the end of the lesson I gave the girls a challenge and that was to pray for 21 days and get into the word. I also ended the time with prayer but in a different way. We usually take prayer requests and one of the adults pray but this time I wanted to give the girls a chance to pray. So I told them that we would take the last minutes of the time and pray, if led to pray out loud do so, if not silence is ok. Several of the girls prayed out loud.

Funny misunderstanding story. I had told the girls that God was telling me that I need to be more willing to do what he has called me to do. So I made the statement that where ever God sent me I would trust him to take me. A parent came up to me Sunday night at church and me that they were going to miss me and that her daughter was going to miss me. I was taken off guard. I did however laugh and said maybe God showed them that he was calling me to go somewhere but hadn't told me yet. LOL Not going any where yet, but you knows; only God does.

A challenge for you. QT and prayer time not right or not quality. Start in Psalms and read read. While reading ask God to show you something about yourself in these two areas. Then make a specific time in the day to pray.

Week Three of Fasting

Well, I have started my last week of the fast and I must say that God is truly powerful than I have ever given him credit for. For anyone who has ever fasted knows that it is not an easy task, especially when you are me. Over the last two weeks I feel like I have had to explain myself to so many people as to why I can't eat certain things and it has shocked me to see so many people confused as to why I was doing this. I stopped explaining because it became more stressful for me. In conversation with a family member, they told me to end it early because of a family dinner we were having to celebrate birthdays, I thought about it but I couldn't. I knew that God had me doing this for a reason and I couldn't bring myself to end it early. I have seen God in a different light in the last two weeks, I have worshipped differently and more. My QT has been a huge blessing in that he has shown me things I had never seen or understood before. The two things that I have been specifically praying for I know God is working through them and I trust him more.

In this last week, I pray that God would reveal things to me and draw me closer to him. I want to be in full surrender to him never looking back. I want to trust him with every area of my life and know that his will is being done. I want people to look at me and say "she is in love with Jesus!" I want to share the gospel without hesitation. I want to always be content with what God is dong in my life, only striving to be more conformed to Jesus.

Last two posts

Ok, if you were wondering why the last two posts are back dated it is because I was changing to wordpress but I decided to keep using blogspot because I was more familiar with it. I have dated them so that you wont me too confused. Thanks for taking the time to read.

History Lesson 1/21

Ok, so I am not a history person. Our Wednesday night service was pretty much a history lesson and I will admit that at first I was somewhat bored. At the end of the message God really spoke to me about making a difference. Here is what God said to me.
Jenny, it doesn't matter what you think you are able to do, I know what I want you to do. Last April I gave you a vision and I am pruning you for it to become a reality. All I want you to do is trust me and allow me to find the right time for all to take place.
I must say I was amazed at how David's history lesson showed me how God wants to use me to make a difference in the lives of women.
Here is a list of the people that David spoke of on Wednesday night:
Ronald Reagan, Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, Lincoln and I know I am missing someone but these are the ones that stood out to me. Look at the difference that these people made. Once freed slaves, one started the movement of equal rights while another came along to run with it in another way, one helped destroy the Berlin wall. I am sure there are many more people out there that have made a difference in the world but this last one made the biggest difference of all. Jesus christ, a sinless man living in this world facing the temptation we face but never fell to them, gave his life for you and me so that we may live in Heaven one day with him.
Find out how you can make a difference. How does God want to use you? Proverbs 3:4-5 and Phil 4:13 have become a big part of my life because every day I have to trust him and I have to believe that I can do all things through Christ. I just have to allow him to do them.

Week One of Fasting 1/19-1/26

For several months now I really felt like God was telling me to fast. For the month of December I did a fast from music; I did not listen to music in the car, in my house or while I was outside. This was pretty hard but I was really able to focus on God and really prayed before the day began. I was amazed at how God moved and showed up.
Since then I had really felt like God was telling of I want something bigger, I want more of a sacrifice from you. So, I prayed I felt like a full Daniel fast was what God was asking me to do. Last Monday, January 19 was my first day. I went to the store bought lots of veggies and fruit and I began my fast. I thought it was going to be hard but so far it has not. I am seeing that if I submit to what God wants me to do he will carry me through to the end. I have complete one week and I am really seeking what God is wanting to do with my life. My QT has been a little easier, I am thinking more throughout the day about God and how he can use me at work with my students as well as in many other areas.
There are two things that I have been praying about while I am fasting I am seeing God move in one of the areas. God is awesome! I am learning not to question but to trust and this is a hard concept for me, I have always questioned just about everything. Nothing wrong with that but there comes a time when we have to stop questioning and start trusting.
I have thought about ending my fast early but I really feel that God has brought me this far I should trust that he will continue to help me to the end. I am not looking back only looking forward. Do you have something that God is telling you to do but you are not sure how you are going to do it. Just trust him and he will see you through it. It is amazing to see what God can accomplish.

Being the Church

Let me start off by saying that this is not my brain working but someone else's but it spoke to me and made me look at my life and what I complain about. Yes, I do complain about the music at church but it is not the style. I know we have a lot of old school traditional in our midst but, well, I wont go into that. This blog from Pete Wilson of Cross Point in Nashville, Tennessee explains it better than I ever could. I hope God speaks to you the way He spoke to me through these words.

Yesterday someone read a quote from my message on Sunday.
The quote was,
“We need to stop playing church and start being the church.”

This person contacted me and asked me what I really meant. A quote of that nature probably deserves further clarification.
It means we need to stop arguing about style of worship and get concerned about the poor and hungry around the world.

It means we need to spend less time gossiping about others and more time allowing God to break our hearts over the people in our cities who are facing an eternity apart from Christ.

It means we need to stop whining about what programs our church has or doesn’t have and we need to learn what it means to abide in Jesus from one moment to the next.
Listen, it’s got to stop. We’ve got to stop showing up on Sunday mornings and playing church. The New testament never calls us to just go to church, but to be the church.

It seems far to often we’ve reduced church down to spiritual masturbation. We’ve made it all about us. We’ve turned it into something we do to stroke our ego-driven, self-centered, materialistic lives. It gives us momentary pleasure, but we’ve failed to give, serve, or sacrifice of ourselves. It leads to false intimacy with our creator God.
We play church.
I’m done with that.
Be the church.

How do you think we “play church”? How do you think we can “be the church”?