For the past several weeks maybe even a month now I have been in a slump. I called it the other day a disconnect. I dont know why and I dont understand it but that is what it feels like. I feel like my QT is not meaningful and that my prayers have been hitting a brick wall. So, I have felt discouraged and disconnected in many ways. I think one reason is the stress that is going on with work not knowing how things are going to go next year and having to take a test (which I hate tests) that can determine whether or not I will have a job or not. I know that God is in control and he has given me everything I need to realize this but I know my inabilities and it scares me. Well again this morning through twitter the ESV verse was Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans if have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" This has been so encouraging to me.
Here is another thing that I have been dealing with call me crazy but I have. Being a leader(which I really dont consider myself to be) can be very difficult but at the same time very rewarding. I have felt like I have been doing this alone for so many different reason,weird I know because there are many great leaders that I work with but for some reason I dont feel like I should be there or that like I am not apart of things. I read this blog today that somewhat made sense to me about how I have been feeling. www.withoutwax.tv Transformal Leadership (I recommend reading it) I know that I am not really alone but yet I am. No one thinks like I do, no one has the desire that I do. Well, let me explain that. Every ones passion and desire are different. We may love the students and want to see them living a God filled life but everyone thinks differently and has different passions for the students. Maybe you get it better than I am explaining it. Any way, I dont think there is anything wrong with me. Someone else told me that feeling a little disconnected is some thing that everyone goes through. I want this to be done with and I dont ever want to feel this way again. Here is my plan and I hope God shows up for it.
Seeing that this week is only a four day week of work and Friday is good Friday I plan on spending time with God. As morbid as it sounds I know but I need to remember everything that he went through for me. So here is the challenge for me and you if you desire to take it on. Friday take the time to read God's word where ever you choose, Matthew 26 - 28 and Mark 14:27- 16, Luke 22- 24 these chapters and verses is all that took place. I know a lot of verses but look at what Jesus went through so that we can spend eternity with him. I want to take it all that in and really appreciate what Jesus did for me and try to understand how hard it was for God to watch his son be tortured for the sins that I have committed not to mention the sins of this world.
Enjoy Easter and may you be filled with the resurrected Jesus alive and sitting at the right hand of the father.
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