Tired of being a doormat!

I made this statement to some one this weekend and now I am feeling bad about it. I was frustrated and tired of being used and walked over by certain people (not any one at church). As I was reading some different blogs it hit me, I was full of conviction and remorse for the statement that I had made. Here is what God is trying to tell me. I understand what you are feeling but look at what Jesus went through for you to see the love I have for you. He was spit at, mocked, rejected, denied, cursed at, laughed at, and beaten beyond recognition and you are complaining about being a doormat; being used and walked all over. Listen if this is what you have to deal with for this person to see Christ then suffer through it because my son suffered through much more for you. Well, now that I am feeling smaller than a flea. I have realized that in showing someone Christ I will have to deal with these things and at times much worse. Does it hurt absolutely especially when it comes from someone you love. I am not going to stop what God has called me to do, even if I have to continue to be a doormat. I want this person to get saved if they're not and if they are come back to him and live according to what God's word says we should live. I will get frustrated again I am sure but I know that God has a purpose for me as well as my friend. In the end God will receive all the glory for everything that happens after all he is in control.

God is Good!

After being frustrated for a few days about a situation I finally said ok, I am going to give it to God and let it go. I truly have the faith in knowing that God is in control of every situation that crosses my path. God has placed before me situation that before I thought there is no way I can get out of this, I am going to fail, I am going to be hurt, and many other thoughts. This last situation was no different I knew that eventually I would be hurt and would be faced with so many other after affects. I am not stressed out about the situation I know God is in control and He will give me the guidance, peace, and assurance as to what to do next. Yesterday I was reading Psalms 139 which I read quit often and it really spoke to me. There is not a place I can go and God not be right there with me. Even in the strangest of situations. I was encouraged as well as in awe at just how awesome God is. There are not enough words in my vocabulary to express who God is or what He means to me and what all he has done for me. Just know this He is the creator of the universe, King of Kings and Lord of Lords, merciful, savior, counselor, Prince of Peace, All Knowing, All powerful, Loving, gracious, and the list goes on and on.

In a situation that you think is not good or that you cant handle. Allow God to take control, rest in him knowing that His will is what is best for your life. I know a hard thing to do but yet the best situation. Read Psalms 139 it will be encouraging to you.

Need Some Time!

The past week has really been some what stressful and depressing. ( I wont go in to details about the depressing part). Work has become overwhelming again, I don't feel as though I can get caught up on paper work and I keep getting more to do. Today when I got up I kept telling myself that I would take what teacher call a mental health day which in other terms is a day off. I was going to use this so that I could get some paper work done and then as I was driving to school I thought I just really needed to spend some time with just myself and God and go sit on the beach. When I got to work I started talking to my favorite neighbor (Jenny Lomax) and really was feeling like I needed to take Friday. Then there was an announcement about the PSAT (praise God for) and I found out that I did not have to proctor or cover a class. So, I have hid myself in a room and took care of a lot of paper work. Yeah! I am excited can you tell. Then every thing else started falling into place. My principal responded to an email that I sent about being able to go to a workshop and the school is going to pay for it, double yeah. Then I got some information about and off campus masters program. See, I have been wanting to get my masters in Ed Leadership but was trying to figure out how I was going to pay for it and how I would find the time to do all the work. Well, the program is for two years here at EW and it meets once a week. I would have to pay $109 verses $439 a credit hour and one class is 3 credits. Huge difference. God is truly showing me that he is in control and will provide the path that he wants me to take. I can but yet my little brain can't comprehend the hugeness of God. He has taken care of my problems and provided all that I need. Praise the Lord. The is light at the end of the career tunnel for me again. I wont be taking Friday off now but I am still needing to spend that one on one time with God, no distractions, no cell phones, nothing but myself and God. Maybe I will go for a long drive over the weekend.

God is awesome!

Saying I am Sorry

Have you ever had to say you are sorry to some one? Wow, that is hard and the words don't always seem to come easy. I don't know what it has been but the last month maybe more (I just didn't see it yet) I have had a bad attitude and I verbally let every one know what I thought. This past Monday at the leaders meeting Kevin talked to us about the underlying iceberg in our life. (Titanic kind of iceberg) God really broke me Monday. Not only was I seeing things that I needed to change but he also showed me that my words were hurtful and discouraging. "Luke 6:45 The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." The last part of this verse was an eye opener for me. This was not my heart (the hurtful words) and I didn't want it to be who I was, so God showed me that I needed to apologize and get things right. So, God showed me who I needed to apologize to and man was that hard. I had to get some one to go with me for support but had no idea what I was doing but it helped. I told the person that I was sorry for being rude and the comments that were made. Then I had to go to someone and tell them that I was sorry for making the rude comments in front of them. I did all of this before the evening service started so that when I walked into the youth trailer I would be able to truly worship and I did. It was hard for me to say this but I knew it was something I had to do, I needed to be obedient to what God was showing me, I thankful that I was and that I did. I will say that I felt the release when I was done talking and now I have one more person that I need to have this conversation with, hopefully it will take place on Sunday.

Don't be afraid to tell someone that you are sorry, it is hard but I promise it is better to say I am sorry than to be rude and continue to say mean things. Don't let your heart be overtaken by evil and don't let your mouth spu out hateful words.

Words of Affirmation?

Well, if you know me you will understand what I mean when I say this, if you don't know me then I hope you understand what I am trying to say. I am not one to take compliments well. I don't always feel or believe what they say. Over the past few weeks at church people have been given me compliments and at times I don't know how to respond. It was recently that I realize how important words of affirmation are. We don't tell people enough how much we appreciate them, how nice they look, that they are doing a great job, or just a simple thank you. I could go with a list of affirming words that we don't share with others but I wont. I think one of the most important is telling people that you love them. I should know because this comes hard for me. Over a period of time (very long) I have heard people use these words to get what they want, to deceive, to make the other person feel something that really isn't there and I have always told myself that I wont say those words unless I truly mean them. Society uses them too flippantly. To the person who has been so kind to give me words of affirmation; you have no idea what this means to me, I appreciate it and you.

The next time you have an opportunity to tell someone that they look nice, have done a good job, that you love them, you appreciate them and so many other compliments we should give others. To my friends you have no idea what you mean to me, I appreciate all of you, each one has a special place in my heart. To my students you hold a special place in my heart as well and it is a privilege to be able to work with you.

Crazy Business doesnt equal to anything.

I feel like I am running in circles. I feel like my life is busy, crazy and always on the go. This past weekend I actually had some time to sit a reflect on some things that have taken place. Wow, I really haven't had time to sit and soak things in. A while back I was reading Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life. I was over taken by a statement from the book about business. We can be busy doing things for God and miss God completely. We can be so involved in church and on the go and every thing looks good on the outside but in reality you are not where God wants you. I have had conversation with a friend a few times now and all I hear is how much they are doing for others and I hear that things are starting to get a little frustrating for them. They feel like their time with God is redundant and they cant seem to get away from the feeling. I began to ask them some questions about the time they spend with God and what they were reading and things they were praying for. Wow, I was surprised and so were they when they realized that they were rushing through God as much as they were rushing through life. While we were talking I was reminded of the song and verse "Be Still and Know I am God". I told them that there are times when I just sit and listen to God and I don't even say a word. We all need to be still and just spend time with God. He doesn't want the redundant time, or the lets get this over with time, or lets just say I spent time with God time; no God wants quality. He wants to be recognized and worshipped, honored and glorified. I am not having more conversation with them about things that are going on, trying to be an encouraging person in a positive way.

How is your time spent with God? Where is your priority? Are you rushing through life, through God? I have learned the hard way to be still, when God takes hold and shows you that he wants you to be still at times it is not the easiest because we tend to see things that we don't want to see. It is a humbling experience. God is waiting to spend some time with you, open us His word and ask him to show you something new.

Response!

After church last night a student came up to me and asked to speak to me, and of course we went to talk. As we got outside she began to explain to me that she didn't think she was saved. I was excited but nervous at the same time (always scared I will say the wrong thing). The Holy spirit gave me the words to say Praise God for that. By the time we were done talking I told her that I would pray for her and that if she felt lead to pray for her to pray, and so she did. She gave her life to Christ.

So here is some thing that I am taking from this. About a week ago a person made a comment about me that made me question why I teach a Sunday school class and even lead a small group Wednesday nights. I don't really want to repeat the statement because it really isn't worth repeating. But here is where I am with it right now. I love teaching and having a small group. I have learned over the years being involved in ministry (leadership) that people are not going to agree with me and they may not even like me, I am going to get my feelings hurt. This past week I have had this thought running through my head why am I teaching, why do I have a group on Wednesday nights, and then last night God showed me exactly why. Of course some one else could have lead this girl to the Lord but God allowed me the opportunity, and several other opportunities. I am not here to have everyone agree with me; I am here to teach God's word and demonstrate His love to others. This is the gift I have been given by God and feel that this is where I can serve him and others. God is using me and I am not going to let someone not agreeing with me or liking me stop. The only one who has a right to tell me I can't do this any more is a pastor and God. I am going to keep living for Jesus and doing what he has called me to do.

Masks we wear!

Last night in youth we started a new series titled Unmasked. Wow, God really spoke. Last night was the mask of denial and that fact that we deny Christ in so many different ways. We deny him by our actions, not taking a stand, being involved in ungodly things, deny the opportunities to share/witness. Looking at Peter he told Jesus that he would never deny him and Peter did, in fact not just once but three times Peter denied Jesus. When I read that I thought what are some things that I said I wouldn't do but in turn did them. Am I wearing the mask of denial, and if so what am I denying? At some point I am sure I am have and will wear one of the masks but I pray that my belief and faith is God so strong that I wont just dwell in my mask but that God will convict me and I will remove the mask and move on. The devil is waiting to destroy us but God says I love you and I have forgiveness for you receive it, remove the mask, get up and live for me.

What mask are you wearing. Are you living a lie denying who you are or who Christ is in your life. God loves you and wants you to live a real life unto Him. Take the mask off be real with God; he is real with us.