Mission Trip

There are a few blogs that I enjoy reading and two of the people's blogs I read are apart of a team going to India for the next ten days. Please join me in praying for these people while they are gone.

Don't Judge a Book by It's Cover!

I am sure many of you will be ready about the same person in a variety of ways over the next few days but I have to put my two sense in to this one. Here is a thought before I get into the meat of this blog. What does it mean to you when you hear some one say "Dont judge a book by it's cover!"? There are so many different reactions I have to this and I have said but yet done the same thing. We look at appearance and misjudge who that person is completely. Let me explain. Last night on Britain's Got Talent an older lady (age 47) gets out on stage and says she wants to sing, just about everyone in the audience laughed as well as the judges. She sang I Dreamed a Dream and when the first sound was heard every one was in awe. They couldnt believe that someone that looked like this could sound so good, could have a voice so beautiful. Every one in the audience was on their feet applauding and cheering for her. She finished the song strong and got the highest rated of three yeses.

Here is the point to this, and I am just as guilty. We look at the outward and say because of the way they look: clothes, hair, teeth, skin color, size, eyes, fashion or not, shoes, just the over all appearance and say there is no way they can to that, or I am not going to be seen with that person. BUT what we are missing is what they are filled with. We havent even given them the chance to see what they are capable of what really is on the inside because we are so self centered that we care more about appearance than we do ability. Sadly enough we judge a person for appearance in every situation. I am not going to speak to that person they look weird, I am not going to move over to the empty seat for them to sit by me did you see what she has on, I am not going to go to dinner with that person he/she smells funny, etc. I could go on with these excuses but in actuality they could be the next what ever and even if they are not why are we judging them for what they look like and not considering the heart at all. Guys and girls only date those popular people, fashionable, looks good on the outside what people like to call eye candy kinda stuff. Yes, I agree we like to be attracted to the person but isnt it really the heart of a person that is most attractive, shouldnt we consider the heart first and then every thing else should fall into place. Shouldnt we get to know them before we ever say no they cant do that, I cant date them, or what ever the reason is that they just wont work out. But at least you first gave them the chance and got to know them. Who knows maybe by doing this you could meet your soul mate, the next CEO of a company, the next American Idol, the next Apprentice, the next America's Top Model but we first looked at the inside and gave them a chance.

The next time you see someone that isnt up to your standards by the way of appearance stop and think about Susan Boyle, who will probably become a famous singer now, and how she was judge by her appearance and once she sang it was absolutely a beautiful sounding voice. A judge made the state "our sinful actions" wrongly judging someone. I hope the next time we start to judge someone for the way they look we will stop and correct ourselves and at give them a chance. Isnt that what Jesus did for us. He didnt say man look at the sin in their life, or she is ugly, or stupid, or fat, or too thin, or they dont have the up to date clothes, no he said Romans 10:13 " For all who call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved" no you didnt read to say any thing else but ALL. Thank God he doesnt save us according to our lives or our standards because we would never be saved because of how ugly we all are and how sinful we are.

Matthew 7: 1-2"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

A new Program

When I graduated from college about 6 years ago I didnt think I would go back and get my masters although I have thought about being a dean (assistant Principal) one day. Cant do one with having a masters degree in Ed Leadership. Back in January I started the process of filling out an application to Saint Leo University which will hold an off site class here at EW. What better opportunity than this to be able to get my masters. I have prayed hard about this and talked with different people on whether or not this was a good idea. Here are the thoughts I have. To advance in education I need to have my masters, it is not so much getting paid more but the fact that I would be able to advance in my role of being a teacher. I after really asking my self why and right an essay about why I wanted to in the Ed Leadership program I realized the contact I would have with a variety of students. Who knows maybe after I get this I wont be cut out to actually do this type of work but I do believe that God has opened the doors for me to further my education. I must say I am very scared about the work that I will have to do and the research that will go with it. I got all the finalization last week about being admitted into the program along with my financial aide information. I was excited but yet wondering why I decided to do this because it is a lot of work. I hope I will be good at this and will finish strong with the work that is needed to be done. I start my classes May 4 with one online class and one actual face to face class. I will have 8 weeks in this class and then I will be off for the summer and start back up in August. I will be done with this program by the summer of 2011. I have searched through all other schools including Florida and UNF and didnt find anything that would work around my schedule the way this one would. I will be in class on Thursday evenings from 5-9 and still be done in 3 years. I am really doing this.

Please if you are reading this I would appreciate your prayers during this time. Here is what I would ask for you to pray about: that I would not be a procrastinator, that I would complete all assignments better than satisfactory, that I would complete this program with a high GPA, that I understand and comprehend every thing that I read and do. Finally, that when it comes time for me to take the Florida Education Leaders Exam that I pass the first time I take it. Also, that through all of the work I dont lose focus of the end goal as well as focus on God. I will be a very busy person during the semester but look forward to the challenge that is before me.

What is wrong with me?

For the past several weeks maybe even a month now I have been in a slump. I called it the other day a disconnect. I dont know why and I dont understand it but that is what it feels like. I feel like my QT is not meaningful and that my prayers have been hitting a brick wall. So, I have felt discouraged and disconnected in many ways. I think one reason is the stress that is going on with work not knowing how things are going to go next year and having to take a test (which I hate tests) that can determine whether or not I will have a job or not. I know that God is in control and he has given me everything I need to realize this but I know my inabilities and it scares me. Well again this morning through twitter the ESV verse was Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans if have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" This has been so encouraging to me.

Here is another thing that I have been dealing with call me crazy but I have. Being a leader(which I really dont consider myself to be) can be very difficult but at the same time very rewarding. I have felt like I have been doing this alone for so many different reason,weird I know because there are many great leaders that I work with but for some reason I dont feel like I should be there or that like I am not apart of things. I read this blog today that somewhat made sense to me about how I have been feeling. www.withoutwax.tv Transformal Leadership (I recommend reading it) I know that I am not really alone but yet I am. No one thinks like I do, no one has the desire that I do. Well, let me explain that. Every ones passion and desire are different. We may love the students and want to see them living a God filled life but everyone thinks differently and has different passions for the students. Maybe you get it better than I am explaining it. Any way, I dont think there is anything wrong with me. Someone else told me that feeling a little disconnected is some thing that everyone goes through. I want this to be done with and I dont ever want to feel this way again. Here is my plan and I hope God shows up for it.

Seeing that this week is only a four day week of work and Friday is good Friday I plan on spending time with God. As morbid as it sounds I know but I need to remember everything that he went through for me. So here is the challenge for me and you if you desire to take it on. Friday take the time to read God's word where ever you choose, Matthew 26 - 28 and Mark 14:27- 16, Luke 22- 24 these chapters and verses is all that took place. I know a lot of verses but look at what Jesus went through so that we can spend eternity with him. I want to take it all that in and really appreciate what Jesus did for me and try to understand how hard it was for God to watch his son be tortured for the sins that I have committed not to mention the sins of this world.

Enjoy Easter and may you be filled with the resurrected Jesus alive and sitting at the right hand of the father.

Ask and you shall receive

Well, a while ago I blogged about Red Birds. Let me update you on a few things. This last month I feel has been pretty stressful. I really felt alone in such a big world. For a while I was begging God to show me a red bird because I needed to make sure he was still there. Well, days, weeks and over a month had gone by and I hadnt seen the red bird and so I said, "Ok God when I least expect it you will allow me to see one." That is exactly what he did. I had been given some information and I didnt really know what to do with the info or how I should respond but this is what I did. I prayed and asked God to show me how I should respond or react. The very next day I was driving my aunt to pick up her truck and as I drove down my road the in front of me was a red bird. I got goose bumps from head to toe and I was so grateful that God would reveal this to me at such a perfect time. God is amazing and he knows exactly when to show things and allow things to happen.

A quick explanation of the red bird. A while back (several years)I really wanted to make sure that being married and having a family was a desire from God. SO, I prayed and asked God that if this was his plan in my life eventually I wanted to see a red bird. It didnt happen right away but I did see a red bird and I trust that God will provide this. It is a way for me to remember that God is right there with me always and he hears my prayers and requests. I desire to be married and have a family one day but more importantly is that God's will in my life is evident. I praise God every day that I am single because of what God allows me to do. One day God will provde me with a husband and I trust that he has the perfect one already picked out for me.

Recap of the week!

As I blogged earlier, a week ago I received a notice about not being highly qualified and that meant my job was in jeopardy. As always, I panicked and that didn't help matters. I stressed all weekend and by Monday I was very upset and concerned as to what would happen with my job. I called downtown to speak with someone in certification and her response just made things worse. Take a test me and two of them. There is no way I can do this especially with the pressure now on. So, all day I was made upset, stressed and frustrated. So, texting all of this and posting on facebook, I knew I had people praying about this for me. (For those of you who were praying for me, God answered your prayers and I am so grateful for friends like you, so thank you for praying for me) Tuesday morning I woke up and felt horrible and stupid. That morning before I got up to start the day I just apologized to God that I didn't trust him enough to take care of this. I gave this situation over to him and said "God you put me in the position of teaching and if this is your plan then you will guide me through this." Well, I must say he has. Yesterday I was going over a few things and I started looking over the material to study. I have been talking with one of the teachers and she was dealing with the same thing and the information she was given was completely different from what I was given. Today, I get a phone call about HQ (highly qualified) and she forwarded an email to me for me to fill out. Now all I need is for my principal to sign off on it and fax it off. God has been working this out the entire time. Even when I didn't allow him to have control he was still working it out. I feel bad that God wasn't the first that I went to and that I tried to do this on my own. The next time a trial is in front of me I hope I am reminded quickly just how much God loves me and will guide me through the situation.

During this whole thing I have been reading the book called The Shack. Wow, I love this book. It has opened my eyes to so many different emotions. I will blog about it later but just wanted to share briefly about this week. God is good. Trust in Him.

Again thank you to those who have been praying for me.

Frustration/Stressed

ok, I guess this will be a time to vent. As you know I am a teacher at a local high school. Every one is still not sure about cuts and how the budget situation will effect us individually or even as a department. I have over the past few weeks said I wasn't concerned I would be fine only because of the certification that I hold. I trusted that God would take care of this and I wouldn't worry about it, even if it meant taking a pay cut. Well, Friday I got notification that I am not considered "highly qualified" by the No Child Left Behind Law. I hold a teacher certificate for Special Education but I at this point not qualified because I do not have a certification for a cor subject area. I spoke with someone downtown today and they advised me that I would need to take two different tests, which are $75 dollars each. I got really upset then. I really didn't understand how or why this effected me the way that it did. I have been teaching for 5 years and have never been notified of this before now. Oh by the way I have until June 30 to pass the required test. I do not test well and with the pressure that I have now I am not feeling confident at all. I pulled off the testing guide for the three different tests I am considering taking and now I feel very inadequate to take these tests. I have never taken math higher than algebra I and this will include geometry. I have thought about asking another math teacher to work with me but I am not sure about that. I don't know how all of this will work out and I am clueless as to what will happen to me. I don't like uncertainty and the feeling of hopelessness (only in this situation). I know the right thing is to trust in God but at this point I am looking at my inadequacies. I am thinking I don't have what it takes to take and pass this test. I don't know what to do or even the first step to solving this problem. With every thing that education is facing I feel like this is one more thing that keeps us from teaching. When I was in college trying to pass the Math part of the CLAST it took me a few chances before actually passed it, and I must admit that all of those thoughts and memories are rushing through my brain. I don't like this feeling. So, if you are reading I beg for your prayers through all of this. Here are some specifics: that I get a test date soon, that I am able to study and retain all that I study, that I pass this the first time I take it and through this all I don't give up/get even more frustrated/lose my testimony or my temper. I think at this point my biggest concern is, is this really what God wants me to do! I feel confused, frustrated and stupid. I love teaching and do not want to lose my job but the obstacles are being through at me and this one seems to be harder for me to cross than the rest of them.

Just when you feel a sense of rest, trust, and contentment. Not boasting but I even felt a little closer to God. Another test/trial and at this point I am failing miserably. I feel like I am back up against a wall with no where to go. I know in the end God will have taught me something through this, I am ready to learn my lesson and be done with it.