In the Silence!

I have tried to blog that last couple of days mostly they are vents to I decided not to post them. Through the venting and Kevin's message Wednesday I really want to see if I am giving God my best and if not why and how I can change that. Yesterday, as I was extremely tired, I never turned on the radio to my car. I am always listening to music. So, last night as I was driving home from my parents house I went to turn on the radio and I really felt as though God pulled my hand away and said stop and just listen. So, I did and in that time I began to pray and ask God what he wanted me to listen to. Here is what I got from my silent day of driving yesterday.

First - God said fast, then I said I have never been successful with a fast. He showed me that it didnt have to be a fast of food. When I felt like God told me not to turn on the radio that he wanted me to listen showed me that this is a fast for me. So, over the next several weeks I am not going to listen to radio in my car or in my house. I am usually in my car several times a time and that is the first thing I do once that car is turned on. (Not for a while) Also, when I am cleaning my house I am usaully listening to musci. (Not for a while) I now need to figure out a way to fix the alarm and wake up without the music and having a corinary when the alarm buzzer goes off. LOL He will make it work.

Second - God wants my full undivided attention and He was telling me that this is how he is going to get it. I prayed Wednesday night that God would show me how to give my best I believe that it starts with giving Him your attention.

If you read this please pray for me during the next 21 days. Here are my prayers. God show me the areas that I am not giving you my best and show me how to actually give you my best? I want every area of my life to reflect who you are. At the end of the next 21 days God will show himself to me in a way that he never has before. I will have a better idea of God's path for my life and future.

Charles Stanley's Statement on Prayer!

Even though the election is over our country is in need of much prayer. God is still in control no matter who is in the White House. This was taken from another blog that I read and thought I would pass it along (Tammy Nolan)


Prayer Changes Things....IF we do it!!!!

I read the article below from Charles Stanley this week. Just thought I'd pass it on. Most of you are probably voting the same way I am, that being with your convictions from the Word of God being the determining factor, which only gives ONE choice, but I have heard many Christians sound defeated with the election coming. It's as if we vote and then we are suppose to simply give up.
This was awesome from Charles. I hope you will all join the countless other Believers that are praying for the election. Prayer changes things, but as my Pastor said this morning, it only works if we do it!

A message from Charles Stanley--

I was very dismayed when recently a member of my Church said to me with great resignation that she was afraid Obama will take the presidency. These words came from someone that in the past has been a great prayer warrior. What is happening was my question??? Why are we Christians settling for the loss of our Christian heritage, not issuing a battle cry and falling to our knees and taking our country back? We allow ourselves to be stripped of the right to pray at school functions and in school, we have the Ten Commandments removed from government places and are told we cannot pray publicly or proclaim Christian principles, all the while providing public prayer places for Muslims. We allow Muslim mosques to operate in America funded by Saudi Arabia, and proclaim anti-American, anti-Christian threats and terrorism.

What in the world is going on and why are we being so apathetic? Why aren't we praying? Our God is an Almighty God who is waiting patiently for us to raise our voices to heaven to stop the tide of the anti-Christian actions in our world today. Now we have a charismatic, albeit inexperienced, candidate for president that does not respect our flag and refuses to wear one on his lapel except when it becomes politically expedient, and whose own wife and pastor that he loves profess to have strong anti-white feelings, and we sit back and say 'it is a given, we can do nothing???' There has never been a time in 2000 years that we can do nothing, never a time that we must sit back and allow the evil in men's and women's hearts to take over our world! We should be afraid, very afraid because our apathy is leading us to perdition.

It is time for all Christian Americans to raise the battle cry and take our nation back! Maybe McCain on his own cannot defeat Obama, but our God can and He will if we take to our knees in prayer and raise a mighty cry to the heavens to 'Save us O Lord'. We have God's promises in 2 Chronicles 7:14, 'If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.' We have the power to change the course of this election and to keep a man as suspect as Barak Obama from leading our country to who knows where with his message of 'change'; a change which I fear will be away from our Christian ideals, and away from Christ, and further away from one nation under God to one nation under Allah.

We are great at passing stories and pictures around the Internet but where are our prayers and prayer warriors praying to stop this tide of Barak Obama? God parted the Red Sea, Jesus was raised from the dead, and we can bring our country back to its Christian roots and stop the undermining of our country by Muslims. We can stop our country from being 'under Allah' but we must begin to pray, to pray as our country and our lives depended on it because they do.

We can stop all these atrocities against God's commands that have taken root in our country through something as simple as sincere prayer, a call to God to deliver us, to forgive us our sins of apathy and to protect us from the evil that is upon us.

Okay prayer warriors, here is your challenge, start those prayer chains. Get the spiritual power working on our behalf and stop Barak Obama the proper way, by calling on our God to save us from the deception that charismatic preaching is using to lead us on the wrong path. Stop those who would take God out of our country and our government. Raise up good men to lead us and protect us. George Bush is being buffeted because he has fought a holy war against the evils that attack us .... and we should not be surprised because a prophet is not honored in his own country. But we should not rest on our laurels and allow ourselves to be taken further off the path of Christianity and to have God removed from our presence in our schools, courts, government and businesses. Invite God into the fray. Ask that His power rest upon us and give us the victory. Ask him to raise up a mighty army to defend us and to protect our country as he did in days of old. Let us be victorious beginning NOW. The battle is His but we must call on Him without ceasing and unite our voices and hearts in prayer and fasting.

Please pass this around to all people of prayer that you know and maybe, just maybe, a more eloquent person of prayer will write something better and more inspiring and even the rocks will shout that Jesus is Lord and our Mighty God is with us and bringing the victory for us and ultimately for Him. AMEN!

Dr. Hunt made another great point when he said, "God may give us what we deserve (as a Nation) instead of what we ask for". No matter who wins this election, GOD is still on the Throne and in complete control of all things. There is NO power given to any man that isn't extended to him from the Creator of all things (whether he acknowledges it or not)!

Tired of being a doormat!

I made this statement to some one this weekend and now I am feeling bad about it. I was frustrated and tired of being used and walked over by certain people (not any one at church). As I was reading some different blogs it hit me, I was full of conviction and remorse for the statement that I had made. Here is what God is trying to tell me. I understand what you are feeling but look at what Jesus went through for you to see the love I have for you. He was spit at, mocked, rejected, denied, cursed at, laughed at, and beaten beyond recognition and you are complaining about being a doormat; being used and walked all over. Listen if this is what you have to deal with for this person to see Christ then suffer through it because my son suffered through much more for you. Well, now that I am feeling smaller than a flea. I have realized that in showing someone Christ I will have to deal with these things and at times much worse. Does it hurt absolutely especially when it comes from someone you love. I am not going to stop what God has called me to do, even if I have to continue to be a doormat. I want this person to get saved if they're not and if they are come back to him and live according to what God's word says we should live. I will get frustrated again I am sure but I know that God has a purpose for me as well as my friend. In the end God will receive all the glory for everything that happens after all he is in control.

God is Good!

After being frustrated for a few days about a situation I finally said ok, I am going to give it to God and let it go. I truly have the faith in knowing that God is in control of every situation that crosses my path. God has placed before me situation that before I thought there is no way I can get out of this, I am going to fail, I am going to be hurt, and many other thoughts. This last situation was no different I knew that eventually I would be hurt and would be faced with so many other after affects. I am not stressed out about the situation I know God is in control and He will give me the guidance, peace, and assurance as to what to do next. Yesterday I was reading Psalms 139 which I read quit often and it really spoke to me. There is not a place I can go and God not be right there with me. Even in the strangest of situations. I was encouraged as well as in awe at just how awesome God is. There are not enough words in my vocabulary to express who God is or what He means to me and what all he has done for me. Just know this He is the creator of the universe, King of Kings and Lord of Lords, merciful, savior, counselor, Prince of Peace, All Knowing, All powerful, Loving, gracious, and the list goes on and on.

In a situation that you think is not good or that you cant handle. Allow God to take control, rest in him knowing that His will is what is best for your life. I know a hard thing to do but yet the best situation. Read Psalms 139 it will be encouraging to you.

Need Some Time!

The past week has really been some what stressful and depressing. ( I wont go in to details about the depressing part). Work has become overwhelming again, I don't feel as though I can get caught up on paper work and I keep getting more to do. Today when I got up I kept telling myself that I would take what teacher call a mental health day which in other terms is a day off. I was going to use this so that I could get some paper work done and then as I was driving to school I thought I just really needed to spend some time with just myself and God and go sit on the beach. When I got to work I started talking to my favorite neighbor (Jenny Lomax) and really was feeling like I needed to take Friday. Then there was an announcement about the PSAT (praise God for) and I found out that I did not have to proctor or cover a class. So, I have hid myself in a room and took care of a lot of paper work. Yeah! I am excited can you tell. Then every thing else started falling into place. My principal responded to an email that I sent about being able to go to a workshop and the school is going to pay for it, double yeah. Then I got some information about and off campus masters program. See, I have been wanting to get my masters in Ed Leadership but was trying to figure out how I was going to pay for it and how I would find the time to do all the work. Well, the program is for two years here at EW and it meets once a week. I would have to pay $109 verses $439 a credit hour and one class is 3 credits. Huge difference. God is truly showing me that he is in control and will provide the path that he wants me to take. I can but yet my little brain can't comprehend the hugeness of God. He has taken care of my problems and provided all that I need. Praise the Lord. The is light at the end of the career tunnel for me again. I wont be taking Friday off now but I am still needing to spend that one on one time with God, no distractions, no cell phones, nothing but myself and God. Maybe I will go for a long drive over the weekend.

God is awesome!

Saying I am Sorry

Have you ever had to say you are sorry to some one? Wow, that is hard and the words don't always seem to come easy. I don't know what it has been but the last month maybe more (I just didn't see it yet) I have had a bad attitude and I verbally let every one know what I thought. This past Monday at the leaders meeting Kevin talked to us about the underlying iceberg in our life. (Titanic kind of iceberg) God really broke me Monday. Not only was I seeing things that I needed to change but he also showed me that my words were hurtful and discouraging. "Luke 6:45 The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." The last part of this verse was an eye opener for me. This was not my heart (the hurtful words) and I didn't want it to be who I was, so God showed me that I needed to apologize and get things right. So, God showed me who I needed to apologize to and man was that hard. I had to get some one to go with me for support but had no idea what I was doing but it helped. I told the person that I was sorry for being rude and the comments that were made. Then I had to go to someone and tell them that I was sorry for making the rude comments in front of them. I did all of this before the evening service started so that when I walked into the youth trailer I would be able to truly worship and I did. It was hard for me to say this but I knew it was something I had to do, I needed to be obedient to what God was showing me, I thankful that I was and that I did. I will say that I felt the release when I was done talking and now I have one more person that I need to have this conversation with, hopefully it will take place on Sunday.

Don't be afraid to tell someone that you are sorry, it is hard but I promise it is better to say I am sorry than to be rude and continue to say mean things. Don't let your heart be overtaken by evil and don't let your mouth spu out hateful words.

Words of Affirmation?

Well, if you know me you will understand what I mean when I say this, if you don't know me then I hope you understand what I am trying to say. I am not one to take compliments well. I don't always feel or believe what they say. Over the past few weeks at church people have been given me compliments and at times I don't know how to respond. It was recently that I realize how important words of affirmation are. We don't tell people enough how much we appreciate them, how nice they look, that they are doing a great job, or just a simple thank you. I could go with a list of affirming words that we don't share with others but I wont. I think one of the most important is telling people that you love them. I should know because this comes hard for me. Over a period of time (very long) I have heard people use these words to get what they want, to deceive, to make the other person feel something that really isn't there and I have always told myself that I wont say those words unless I truly mean them. Society uses them too flippantly. To the person who has been so kind to give me words of affirmation; you have no idea what this means to me, I appreciate it and you.

The next time you have an opportunity to tell someone that they look nice, have done a good job, that you love them, you appreciate them and so many other compliments we should give others. To my friends you have no idea what you mean to me, I appreciate all of you, each one has a special place in my heart. To my students you hold a special place in my heart as well and it is a privilege to be able to work with you.

Crazy Business doesnt equal to anything.

I feel like I am running in circles. I feel like my life is busy, crazy and always on the go. This past weekend I actually had some time to sit a reflect on some things that have taken place. Wow, I really haven't had time to sit and soak things in. A while back I was reading Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life. I was over taken by a statement from the book about business. We can be busy doing things for God and miss God completely. We can be so involved in church and on the go and every thing looks good on the outside but in reality you are not where God wants you. I have had conversation with a friend a few times now and all I hear is how much they are doing for others and I hear that things are starting to get a little frustrating for them. They feel like their time with God is redundant and they cant seem to get away from the feeling. I began to ask them some questions about the time they spend with God and what they were reading and things they were praying for. Wow, I was surprised and so were they when they realized that they were rushing through God as much as they were rushing through life. While we were talking I was reminded of the song and verse "Be Still and Know I am God". I told them that there are times when I just sit and listen to God and I don't even say a word. We all need to be still and just spend time with God. He doesn't want the redundant time, or the lets get this over with time, or lets just say I spent time with God time; no God wants quality. He wants to be recognized and worshipped, honored and glorified. I am not having more conversation with them about things that are going on, trying to be an encouraging person in a positive way.

How is your time spent with God? Where is your priority? Are you rushing through life, through God? I have learned the hard way to be still, when God takes hold and shows you that he wants you to be still at times it is not the easiest because we tend to see things that we don't want to see. It is a humbling experience. God is waiting to spend some time with you, open us His word and ask him to show you something new.

Response!

After church last night a student came up to me and asked to speak to me, and of course we went to talk. As we got outside she began to explain to me that she didn't think she was saved. I was excited but nervous at the same time (always scared I will say the wrong thing). The Holy spirit gave me the words to say Praise God for that. By the time we were done talking I told her that I would pray for her and that if she felt lead to pray for her to pray, and so she did. She gave her life to Christ.

So here is some thing that I am taking from this. About a week ago a person made a comment about me that made me question why I teach a Sunday school class and even lead a small group Wednesday nights. I don't really want to repeat the statement because it really isn't worth repeating. But here is where I am with it right now. I love teaching and having a small group. I have learned over the years being involved in ministry (leadership) that people are not going to agree with me and they may not even like me, I am going to get my feelings hurt. This past week I have had this thought running through my head why am I teaching, why do I have a group on Wednesday nights, and then last night God showed me exactly why. Of course some one else could have lead this girl to the Lord but God allowed me the opportunity, and several other opportunities. I am not here to have everyone agree with me; I am here to teach God's word and demonstrate His love to others. This is the gift I have been given by God and feel that this is where I can serve him and others. God is using me and I am not going to let someone not agreeing with me or liking me stop. The only one who has a right to tell me I can't do this any more is a pastor and God. I am going to keep living for Jesus and doing what he has called me to do.

Masks we wear!

Last night in youth we started a new series titled Unmasked. Wow, God really spoke. Last night was the mask of denial and that fact that we deny Christ in so many different ways. We deny him by our actions, not taking a stand, being involved in ungodly things, deny the opportunities to share/witness. Looking at Peter he told Jesus that he would never deny him and Peter did, in fact not just once but three times Peter denied Jesus. When I read that I thought what are some things that I said I wouldn't do but in turn did them. Am I wearing the mask of denial, and if so what am I denying? At some point I am sure I am have and will wear one of the masks but I pray that my belief and faith is God so strong that I wont just dwell in my mask but that God will convict me and I will remove the mask and move on. The devil is waiting to destroy us but God says I love you and I have forgiveness for you receive it, remove the mask, get up and live for me.

What mask are you wearing. Are you living a lie denying who you are or who Christ is in your life. God loves you and wants you to live a real life unto Him. Take the mask off be real with God; he is real with us.

Stepping out of the Box

Monday evening a student (from EW) called me and needed to talk about a situation and was asking my advise. I don't know if what I said was the best thing but I think it is her only option. Before the conversation ended I told her that she needed to go to church. funny thing she says that she was thinking about that earlier, but she was afraid that if she went to church every one would stare at her like there was some thing wrong. So, that opened the door for me to tell her that she could come to PL and I would be there and that no one would treat her differently. She then said that she needed to go buy some clothes because she didn't have church clothes, I was happy to explain that we are not that type of church. She so called yesterday and explained that things were looking better and that her cousin even asked to go to church with her, I said more the merrier. I pray that they all show up for church tonight and God just moves in a way that they cant help but to respond. I expect God to do something tonight.

Step out of your box and let God work.

Why I was motivated to do what I did!

A while back (over the summer I think) Aaron and Kevin taught lessons on what motivates us. This message has come to my attention and I am asking what motivated what I did. For the past month I have had a friend of mine of my thoughts and I have done nothing about it. For me it is somewhat strange to pick up the phone and call someone that you haven't talked to you a while and say hey. This past weekend was different, I decided that I was going to send them a text and say hello and let them know that I was thinking about them. I am pretty sure they are not a christian and I feel like God was telling me that I needed to break the ice and say hello. I am now questioning my motives. Did I really do this because God told me to, or because of selfish reasons, do I really miss this person, or is there some other reason. There have been hurt words between myself and this person but there is one little comment that keeps playing over in my head that which maybe the motivating factor for me to call. "I wonder what death is like" Wow, this person is not saved and if they are, they are so far from God that maybe this is God's way of bringing them back to him. I don't know, I just know that God has never left me alone and I don't want to leave my friend alone. I don't want to be motivated by the wrong things in life but yet I cant face the thought of someone I know dying without Jesus. I have been forgiven shouldn't I forgive as well. It may not be a good situation but I believe and know that God is in control. I have to pray Proverbs 3:5-6. I need to trust God. I don't want to mention names because I don't know you all reads this blog but I will nick name them J.Z. please pray for them and the opportunity for me to share the love that Christ as shared with me unconditional, non-judgemental love.

Why are we motivated by so many different things? I only want to be motivated by things that will increase His Kingdom and to show off His glory.

FNL!

Well, lets just say I couldn't wait to get home so that I could blog about this night. I must say that it was a day that was some what frustrating and discouraging at some point in the day plus I dont think it help that I wasn't feeling well.
Well, God had something great in store for me tonight. As always we started off with music and the band from Trinity was really good. Brian Sheperd brought us the word and wow God really used his mouth. He read from Matthew 26 talking about Jesus praying in the garden before his arrest and how he was asking God was there any other way besides him going to the cross, and said "Not my will but your will". Jesus new what was about to happen to him and was asking for another way but knew that this was God's will. As Christians we tend to think that just because we are Christians that this life is going to be easy and things that we pray for are going to be granted. God shows us through theses passages that is not always true. Jesus explained it in his prayer in the garden Matthew 26:39"My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." We pray and ask God for things but what we don't think about is what God's will is for what we are praying for. As Christians we are going to be hurt we are going to feel all alone, left out betrayed, we are going to be left heart broken but we need to pray the Christian prayer focusing on God's will and not our own. This is a truth that some people tend to forget but just because we get saved doesn't mean the the path we are on is going to be easy. In fact we are going to continue to face some difficult situations it is how we pray and seek God and how our lives line up with his will. Here is what God spoke specifically to me about tonight. It is not about who is around, who my friends are or aren't, where I am at or who I am with I need to focus on God and God alone. His will for my life needs to be evident in everything I do. So, I said ok God if it is just the two of us so be it, your will not mine. I am so grateful for the message and how God spoke to me. At the end of the message the band got back up there and sand a few more songs and the last two I must say were awesome. I wish I knew the words to them or had the song because I would put it in here but I don't. I can say that I really worshiped tonight in music and in word. God you are awesome and I want my life to line up with yours, not my will but your be done.

EW Bible Study

This morning was my first time leading a Bible study at my school and I must say God gave me the idea. At first I couldn't think of any thing so I was going to piggy back off of our Wednesday night topic on prayer. Well, God had some thing different in mind. Last night as Kevin was teaching he was reading out of I Samuel 16 and God said this is what I want you to talk to the students about. so, I did. I started off with a question; Have you ever had the thought, there is no way I can do that, what about everything that I have done, I am not good enough for that yeah right me. Then I read Ch. 16:6-13 about the anointing of David as King. The youngest of his brothers, the smallest of his brothers. I explained that when it comes to what God wants for us he is not concerned with our past, our faults, or lack of faith in ourselves God is concerned with our heart and David's heart was in the right place. I told them that because of who God is in us we are very capable of doing whatever God asks of us. We may be a little hesitant and scared but all we need to do is trust that God is in control and everything will be ok.

We had about students this morning which is about three more than we have had and added one more adult. I must say that God really took me out of my comfort zone for this because it was a male teacher that sat with us this morning. For those of you who know me this is something I normally do not do, but God wanted differently. (scary thought) There was a comment about the male teacher being with baptist and him being Presbyterian, I wanted to say well it is not about the affiliation but who and what we believe in but I didn't. I am so grateful for the opportunity and am looking forward to many more lessons taught and learned.

Remember God is not concerned with the outward appearance but he is concerned about our heart, is your heart right with God?

Bible Study at School

Well, I am doing my first Bible study on Thursday here at Ed White. I must say I am very nervous. I have taught before so this shouldnt be hard and I shouldnt be nervous but I am and it is. I am not sure yet what I am going to study for this I know God will give me something to study and discuss. I think the biggest concern is that I only have about 10 minutes to go over some thing. I know God will see me through because He will bring the word. The hardest thing for me is to find some thing to discuss but I know God will reveal himself and give me a verse or more to carry the discussion.

This morning was the first get together of the year and there were two students with three adults.(Not a very good teacher student ratio) I pray that God would double this number for thursday and by the end of the year He has made us move into Houston Hall or even the auditorium because there are so many students showing up. Please pray for me and the group that it will just reflex God's image and over flow into the rest of the school.

We are also starting Fellowship of Christian Athletes. There were twelve students last night that showed up and I pray that they would double as well. I know God is going to do great things at EW this year, I am looking forward to seeing it and hopefully being a part of it.

What to do!

Just now as I let my student out for lunch I walked across the hall to get my and head back to my room when I saw a student that should have been in my room before lunch. (skipping?) Well, he walked by and waved and I called him over. Now let me say that this is a student that has told me he spokes pot but he is trying to quit because he is trying to change his life and of course I am willing to help. So, when he walks over to me I asked him where he had been but he didnt give me a straight anser. His eyes are glassy and red so I tell him to look at me, which he cant do. So I then asked him "why did I just ask you to look at me" he just smiled. I told him that he needed to go home because he was not in the right mind to attend school today. He then told me that it was from earlier this morning. I am shocked but not shocked. I really dont know what to do. The teacher in me says call and turn him in, but the christian in me says I need to help him get clean. This student trusts me and I want him to change because he is able to change and encourage others around him to change as well. I am really stuck as to what to do. I have told the student from day one that there is something special about him. I really want to help him make a difference but at this point I dont know if he really wants the help.

For thos reading this please pray for this student I will give him the name of Mickey. I hope that he will continue to trust me and that I can some how convience him to stop the drugs and get his life right.

Sunday School Lesson On Captivating

The Fall of Adam and EVE!
Question one: Where was Adam when Eve was getting ready to sin and eat from the tree? I have read in Genesis and the only thing that it says was that Adam was with Eve but it never says he said anything to Eve. Here was something that I took to heart. At times (more so than not) I am an in control type of person. Here is what captivating says about that. Women like to be in control because of what Adam didnt do, (not to put blame on him) but with this we have the lack of faith and trust in God, therefore we take matters into our own hands. I began to explain to the girls that God is a relational God and He desires a relationship with us. (this was actually last weeks lesson) After Adam Eve ate of the fruit they hid themselves from each other and God because they were ashamed of what they had done as well as what they saw in each other. No matter how much we try there is not way we can hide from God, neither could Adam and Eve. God dealt with them and punished them and to this day we still see the punishment of Adam and Eve. (That is another blog)

At the end of my lesson I talked about about relationships, whether it be family, friends, or dating that first our relationship with God needs to be right before we can focus on other relationships in our life. Trust God with the small things in life because when the big stuff happens it will be easier to Trust God. I also told the girls that first and foremost their relationship with God needed to be the most important and that is what they needed to focus on more than anything. Everything after that will line up according to the WORD.

Read Genesis 2-3

Almost One Year Ago!

The other day it was brought to my attention that it will soon be one year ago October 1 that a former student of mine was murdered. I must say that when I got the news I was devastated. I felt helpless, frustrated and my heart broke for many reasons. This student had been in trouble many times before but yet a few weeks before had made a commitment to get his life right, he would have entered a program to get him clean and off the streets. This happened at a westside apartment complex that in my opinion should be demolished due to the violence it has had over the years. Although he was a troubled young man there was still something special about him and his memory will still be with me.

Here is what my thoughts are about this. As a teacher in a public school I pray everyday that I dont ever have to hear news like this again. I want to make a difference in the lives of my students. I want them to know that I care about them and that I want the best for them. I have so many thoughts about what I want to do but I know it will take help from many different areas of the city of Jacksonville to accomplish this but I am going to start some where. So, why not start with my school. Lets hold a rally where students are talked to and at the end given the choice to let go of the weapons and the drugs with no penalty and then are set up with some form of counseling at the school to ensure that they will continue to be drug free and free from violence. I know I have a long way to go with this but making the first step is the best thing to do.

The challenge for myself is this: I need to speak with the principal to see his thoughts on this. Then from there I am not sure but I have to help some how some way. I see too much of this every day with my students and I dont want to experience hearing another student was killed due to drugs or gang related things. If you feel led, lets work together. Your prayers in this will be greatly appreciated.

Captivating

So, I am reading CAPTIVATING by John and Stasi Eldredge. This is looking at women and why we do things the way we do. I must say I am just starting chapter three and my eyes have been open to new things. It is amazing to see why God created us the way he did. Not that I have ever asked "God why did you create me to be a women?" but that I see why I desire to be in a relationship, to have the fairy tale dreams, to be apart of an adventure. Here is a quote from the book that all women should grasp hold of " Because she bears the image of. She doesnt have to conjure it, go get it from a salon, have plastic surgery or breast implants. No, beauty is an essence that is given to every woman at her creation." So, I wanted to shout this to the world after I read this. This is exactly what God has been telling me to share to women young and old(er). He created us perfect in His site; we should not care what society says we should look like.

If you struggle with self image both male and female go back a read the quote form the book, God created both male and female in his image. He knew what he was dong when he created us and we do not need this world to tell us we were a mistake, that we are deformed, that we are ugly, we dont fit our body, or what ever the situation is for you. Allow God to be God in your life and He will show you why you were created the way you are. Grab hold of your identity in Christ not a worldly identity.

Going Through the Storm!

Well, the storm as passed, thank God, because the last three days have been very boring and frustrating. Wednesday evening I started thinking about the message from Camp "Would I follow Jesus into a storm" during this message there were points to how we should repsond while being in the storm. Even though this was not a personal storm I still feel that I failed miserably. I have really been praying that the messages from camp would come to mind often and I guess this was God's way of saying Jenny here in one message that I want you to remember because you are going to follow me into a storm and you need to be ready. Well, I hope after this I will be a little more prepared. I have no idea what or when the storm is coming in in what form but I will trust that God is in control and knows what he is doing with my life. After all it is not my life anyways.

Summer Is Over!

Well, yesterday was our first day back with the students and I must say that it went better than I expected. There is usually something out of the ordinary that happens on the first day of school, but not yesterday; at least not for me. I stood out in the hallways to help students find there way and one student (wont mention names) saw me and the expression on her face was priceless. She really did light up when she saw me, I think only because she new me (not because I am special lol). Then I went to assist another student and when she heard my voice she realized who I was and give me the biggest hug. (No she is not blind she just never looked up) So, after seeing the two of these students it one made my day and two made me really think and pray about how I wanted to make a difference in the lives of our (my) students, not just at work either. I have heard the statement time and time again you cant help everyone, maybe not but I sure an going to try. I have seen some of the worst situations with students and I dont want to add to the pain or frustrations. So, for those who read this please pray for me, the school (Ed White), my students, and the impact God allows me to be in their lives.

Titus 2:7-8 In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching who show integrity, seriousness, and soundness of speech that can not be condemned, so that those who oppose you may may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

I pray that everything I say and do lines up with who I am in Christ and that my students will see Christ in me. Give me the opportunity to share Christ verbally with one or more students.

Not saying goodbye!

Ok, so last night a very dear friend left for seminary. There were so many tears that fell; some in sadness and some that were rejoicing. Mixed emotions. I have learned over the past years that the ministry will bring people into your life and will take them away. I am the type of person that when I make a friend I don't like to let go, but God has taught me that I am not letting go because if God is the Lord of our lives then He will bring us back together. I look at how Aaron reached out to me but mostly the way he pored his life into the students. So here are a few things that I couldn't say the night he left.

Aaron thank you so much for being a friend. You challenged my faith by making me examine what I believe and why I believe it. When I didn't think I could do something you gave me the encouraging words to help me through it. You listened to me when I complained, or was mad; sometimes you responded and sometimes you just listened. I admire the way you were with the students and how much they truly love you. You showed me how to take my faith and the ministry of the youth to another level; in a way you taught me how to get out of the box. I know that our students are going to miss you but the impact that you made in their lives will last a life time. Who ever comes into help will never replace you because you are irreplaceable and I truly mean that. Thank you so much for being a friend and for giving me encouragement and the challenge. You will be missed greatly. May God keep you safe. Praying for you always.

See you soon!

Camp Summary

Ok, I am finally going to blog about camp. It was an amazing week seeing God and how he worked in the lives of our students as well as mine. God is awesome. These are notes that I took so please know that this is how God spoke to me.
FAITH 2 0
Day 1 Kevin taught from John 4:7-14 The woman at the well. 7When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, "Will you give me a drink?" 8(His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.) 9The Samaritan woman said to him, "You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?" (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.[a])
10Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water."
11"Sir," the woman said, "you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?"
13Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." Kevin used the illustration of fresh water and salt water. The world being the salt water and Jesus being the fresh water. Jesus is the living water! Where amd I at with God, am I satisfied or dissatified? The bottle water represents God's vision and the salt water represents my own vision. Stop dreaming little things, God wants to use you for amazing things. Here are some questions that were asked: What does God have for me? How does God want to use me? Do I want the vision God has for me?
God wants to give us our vision for our life but the things we hold on to inhibit us to see that vision. What am I holding on to that keeps me from God's vision for my life? You cant mix the fresh with the salt (old)?
After the session we broke off into small groups and we asked two questions. How do you think God can use you? No limits! what is holding you back?

Day 2 Aaron taught Exodus 15:22-2522 Then Moses led Israel from the Red Sea and they went into the Desert of Shur. For three days they traveled in the desert without finding water. 23 When they came to Marah, they could not drink its water because it was bitter. (That is why the place is called Marah. [a] ) 24 So the people grumbled against Moses, saying, "What are we to drink?"
25 Then Moses cried out to the LORD, and the LORD showed him a piece of wood. He threw it into the water, and the water became sweet. There the LORD made a decree and a law for them, and there he tested them.
Often times things happen in our life and we dont see God in it at all. In actuallity he is in it from the start. Faith comes from obedience.
It is easy to get caught up in someone else's relationship with God. Continue to sit there and wait and tha tis not what God is wanting us to do. God wants me to tackle the idea of what he is doing and wants to do with my life. Who am I and who am I in Christ? God doesnt intend for me to walk through this life alone. Take ownership of my faith! The situation you are in right now is not the end all.

Day 3 Johnny taught

I didnt take a lot of notes this night because there was one thing that stood out to me above anything else. We are always praying to God to help us through the storm. the first statement that was made am I willing to follow Jesus into a storm. We always tend to stand on the outside but why not follow Him in, especially if that is what He is calling us to do.
Storm creates:
1. uncertainty
2. Fear and anxiety
3. Isolation
4. Opportunity for God to do something incredibl, unimaginable and inexpected.
How to respond in a storm!
1. Expect it.
2. Embace it.
3. Endure it.
True disciples follow Christ.

Ok so I have three more lessons to go through but I am going to stop for now. For those of you who did not know a groupd of people got together for about 6 weeks prior to camp and started praying that God would show up and that He would move. God really answered our prays ten fold. One of the nights I prayed before we started that we would experience the Lord's supper like never before, God also answered that prayer. Students and adults lives were changed. Praise God.

Awesome Week at Camp and a Great Ending

As we pulled into the parking lot of church I was so glad to be home but yet wanted a few more days at camp. I walked back over to the van to clean it out and Bro. Jace walked up to me and asked if I heard about my sister. I got a little strange feeling but then thought if it was bad my family would have called me. So he she didnt even call you, no my sister hadnt called me and I hadnt really talked to her except to call and ask her to bring me my vehicle. Normally I leave my car at the church but for some reason she insisted that she come and pick it up so she did. Ok so back to the story. Jace begins to explain that he saw her name on the decision card from sunday and said either she got saved or she made a profession of faith. I was so excited either way. So I got my stuff and put it in the car and off we went. I was talking about things that happened at camp and then she begins to explain how awesome Tony Nolan was. She told me that she went forward and at first was doing a rededication but when Tommy Mallard grabbed her hand and said know for sure she knew she didnt know for sure and so she said she wanted to know for sure and nailed it down that day. You see I have known for a while that my sister had been doubting because of conversations and so I just really prayed that God would reveal to her where she stood with him. My prayers have been answered. I know there are several people out there that are praying for friends and family to get saved and I am praying for them as well and I pray that I will one day be able to rejoice with you the way others rejoiced with me about my sister. She called me this morning and told me that she was getting baptized the first sunday in September.

God I am so amazed at how you work in so many areas. Thank you for answering my prayers about saving my sister as well as answering our prayers about camp. Thank you!

More to come about camp.

No TV

Ok, so last night at church we did the Lord's supper which was awesome. During that time I was thinking what could I do to really get my focus where it needs to be and be ready for camp. So, this is what I came up with. I watch a lot of tv when there is nothing else to do or the weather is bad; especially when I am going to sleep. I thought I needed the tv to help me fall asleep. Last night when I got home (which was very late) I thought how can I do this, I need something to listen to so that I dont hear the creeks and dogs barking, so I read a little and then turned out the lights and the next thing I know it is 6:30 and the alarm is going off. I did it I went to sleep with no tv last night. I havent really watched tv today went over to my grandfathers while I was breaking from the hard labor I was doing today and the tv was on but didnt pay any attention to it. Pleaes dont mistake this for fasting because I dont consider it to be that. To me that is much more indepth intimate time. I just dont want any distractions before camp and I really want to have a prepared heart. I believe God is going to do great things while we are at camp and maybe this will be something that I need to remove from my life any way and devote more time to God. So, if you are reading this please pray for as we are away at camp. We leave on 8/1 - 8/6. I am so excited as to what God is going to do and how is is going to change lives.

What is my MOTIVATOR!

For the past few weeks on Wednesday nights we have been learning about what we should not be motivated by: fear, guilt and tradition. Tonight we learned what we should be motivated by: Love. I Corinthians 13:1-8 "1)If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2)And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3) If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned but have not love, I gain nothing.4)Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5)or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6)it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7) Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8)Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9)For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
is an example of love and that without love we have nothing. At times I will admit that I do not understand love but yet I know that God loves me, that my parents love me and that there are certain people (friends) that I know love me, but the question is do I love them the way God loves them. Am I motivated by love because of who Christ is in me and the love He has bestowed to me. I want my life to be motivated by love and nothing else and that love be a God love and the same kind of love that was and is shown to be daily.

Painting a picture of Christ!

Saturday evening I had gone to dinner with my family. After dinner we went over to my mom and dads. It started raining as we were on our way home and we saw a man and a young child walking in the rain. My sister made this statement "I wish I wasnt scared I would offer him a ride." At that point I said I have an umbrella that we can offer to give him. So we turned around and pulled up next to him and offered him the umbrella. He was hesitant at first to even stop walking and even more hesitant to take the umbrella but he did and put it over the child. I dont know really if this was painting a picture of God or not. I was happy to know that my sister had the first idea. Kevin if you read this your message made an impression on my sister, thank you. I will remember this message and pray that I am painting a picture of Christ in my actions and words.

What is the right thing to do?

OK, sorry to those who read this but I need to vent. I have recent caught someone cheating. A very close friend almost like family is dating this guy and I caught him cheating, hard core evidence of him and the girl. I dont understand how people cheat whether it be a man or a women married or dating. I just dont get it. If you you dont want to be with that person then break up with them or tell them you want a divorce (which I dont agree with) it is better than cheating and many people getting hurt in the process of cheating. My heart is breaking for my friend because I dont know what to do. I have thought about just telling her but I cant break her heart like that, then I thought about confronting him but there is not telling what he will do in return. I pray that his conscience gets the best of him but I dont think that people who cheat have a conscience. I am so flustered and frustrated that I cant think straight. I have had mean thoughts about this person and I know it is wrong, I just hope and pray that in the end my friend will wise up to his cheating and move on, and that he will get what he deserves. (Wrong thought, I dont know but there needs to be some sort of punishment). Do people who are lost have a conscience and if so how do you get them to see the wrong. I am reminded or the message from this past sunday "Painting a Picture of Chirst" in this situation how do I paint a picture of Christ? I pray that God will guide me and I pray for my friend that when this comes out she will know that she does not deserve to be treated like this. No one deserves to be cheating on.

God help me to better understand why I saw this today and what I am suppose to do with this information. Any kind of input would be greatly appreciated. I trust God that you are in control and this is happening for a reason, please help myself and my friend to understand a little better why.

Vacation Update

Last Sunday while I was on vacation I went to a church that I had heard was really good. (wont mention the name) I walked in and a somewhat early because I wasnt sure where I was going. Once I got inside I found the sanctuary and went in and sat down. I was about 20 minutes early. So I just sat and observed. As I continued to sit and watch the people walk by and to my surprise now one spoke to me, not even the pastor when he walked by. The message was ok and the music was ok. It felt as those the worship leaders were force to lead worship not really heart felt that I noticed. I left dueing the prayer for the offering and as I got to my car I just paused for a moment and thank God for my church. I am happy to attend a church the is friendly and welcoming. I remember my first day at PLBC everyone was very nice and spoke to me. Maybe I needed to attend this church to appreciate where I am and attend church. I have a pastor that has a heart for people and teaches the truth and youth pastor who is awesome and gifted and what he does and allows me to serve in his ministry. Think you are unhappy at a church and want to find something better or different (not that I was doing that please dont misunderstand what I am saying) be very careful about where you go do a little research before you attend. I love my church and my church family.

In Love With Jesus!

Ok, so I have tried to blog but I have had problems with my computer. I think I have fixed the problem. So here is what I have wanted to blog about.

This past Sunday in conversation with someone about ministry there was a statement that was made that really made me think about my love for Jesus. Here is the conversation as best I can remember it; "There is a street ministry that is getting ready to start, let me know what I can do, you are dedicated, I wouldnt say that, well you are in love with Jesus right?" Ok so I left out some of what was said but hopefully you get the idea of where I am going with this. So Monday I didn't do anything but think about this statement. Am I in love with Jesus? Do I love him the way he loves me? Jesus is so in love with me that he gave his life for me.( What an example of true love) So my thoughts were how can I love him the way he loves me, I dont think I can other than surrender everything I have and am to Jesus. Even the little things. The past two days I have been reading about being lukewarm and some of the characteristics that describe this kind of person. This made me really think about the love I have for Jesus. I felt ashamed but yet revived to know that I serve a God who loves me and shows me mercy, grace, peace, forgiveness and love which he is not limited to just these. Every day is a new day and I am so blessed to serve a God who is alive and living today. I want to fall in love with Jesus every day with a sincere surrendered heart.

If you want to read a book that will make you think about your relationship with God then check out this link. http://crazylovebook.com/ or go to Francis Chan and listen to some of his blogs. He has challenged me in ways I cant explain completely.

Power In Prayer

Don't believe prayer works, here is proof that it does. About three weeks ago Kaylee Daniels (16 year old youth student at PLBC) left for 59 days in the Philippines. This is the first example that God hears and answers prayers. We had been praying that Kaylee would get accepted into the program and she did, then we prayed that God would provide the moneys for the trip and he did. This past Sunday we heard that Kaylee and her teammates were very sick and seemed to be getting worse. Monday night a group of us met and prayed together that they would get better. There was about 13 or so of us there and it was so sweet to hear everyone pray. Even Mom and Dad Daniels were there with us. It was sweet. Today I got a text saying that Kaylee was no longer sick and doing much better and had written a blog. God listens and answers prayers. Praise God Kaylee and most of the team members are better. Please pray for the remaining team member that is still not feeling well. Also, if you are reading this please pray for Kaylee as she will be teaching a True Love Waits lessons this weekend.

God you are awesome, thank you for listening to the cries or your children and helping Kaylees and the other team members get better. Help the other girl to feel better as well. Give them the words to share your love, grace and mercy with others. In Christ name, Amen.

Kaylee if you get to read this I am praying for you. We all miss you but I know God has big things in store for you. I pray that at the end of the trip you will know if God is truly calling you to be a missionary, which personally I think he is. I know you are ready for it. God bless you and keep you safe. Love you.

Old Friends

Yesterday I wrote about a child hood friend passing away. Last night I went to the viewing and it was harder than I thought. I tried to fight back the tears but as I was standing there speaking to a lady that worked at the funeral home she began to explain things that I really didnt care to know about and it brought tears to my eyes. Then as I was leaving one of the girls (lady) I see almost every day was coming in and she was having hard time which made it worse for me. I just wanted to go home and sit by myself. I didnt want to talk to any one or even answer the phone. I dont know what else to say other than I am sad for her children, parents, sibling, other family members and friends. The one thing that Jennifer's mother said last night was that she wasnt in any more pain and she was at peace. Those were very comforting words. I knew she was saved but it just made things better to hear that.

Today Oswald's verse was The Never-forsaking God
He Himself has said, ’I will never leave you nor forsake you’ —Hebrews 13:5 I truely find comfort in ths verse because even in times like this I know that God is with me and with those who are mourning the loss of a mother, daughter, sister and friend. I am so grateful that I have a Heavenly Father that is beside me holding my hands during every situation that comes my way.

The Broken Chain
We little knew that morning that
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly.
In death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you.
You did not go alone,
for part of us went with you
the day God called you home.

You left us peaceful memories.
Your love is still our guide.
And though we cannot see you,
you are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken
and nothing seems the same,
but as God calls us one by one,
the Chain will link again.

Child Hood Friends

This morning as I am getting dressed (6am) the phone rings and at first I wasnt going to answer it but I thought it must be important for some one to call me that earlier in the morning. So, I answered and it was my Mom, but I didnt think anything of it. Here is what she said; "I have some news for you (pause) Jennifer Ricks passed away" The breathe was removed from my lungs at that point and I didnt know what to do or say. I dont know what happened or any details about this situation. I tried not to cry on the pnone with my mom but as soon as I hung up the phone it was like a river. All I could think about were the things we did as young girls. I played softball with Jennifer and spent a lot of time over at her house. Even though I went to church with my grandmother from time to time Jennifer was the only person (friend) I remember ever inviting me to church. In fact the morning I got saved Jennifer was right beside me. She was a good friend. There was this game that we played on her tramopline call break the egg. We were playing one day and I was holding onto my feet so tight that I was bounced off the trampoline and onto the ground. That hurt but I got right back up. I remember her laughing at me but I acted like it didnt even bother me. We always swam in her pool, and just had a blast together. Good memories of things we did when we were kids. After the memories rushed my thoughts I started to cry more and ask God I dont understand why there is so much death around me. God are you trying to get me to see some thing, do I need to grab hold of you even more, trust you a little more, what is it? I am not upset with God because He has a reason for everything that takes place and is in control of every situation. I find comfort in that. How do I comfort that family, what do I say? Tonight is the viewing and tomorrow is the funeral. I plan on attending both at this point but not 100% sure about going to the funeral. I dont do well at funerals but then again who does. Please pray for the family as this I am sure is a hard time for them.

Waiting at Chic-Fil-A

So, the students leave at 11:30 due to finals and I decided that I would go grab lunch from my favorite fast food place Chic-fil-a. As I pull into the parking lot it was pretty busy and the drive through is usually fast so I figured I would just wait in the drive through. So, I am waiting and can't pull up any further than where I was or I would block the people coming out from the drive through line. So I am waiting and while I am waiting I am texting and I see this big black truck pull up beside me and this lady start yelling profanity at me where the **** do you think you are going. Now let me remind you that I can't pull up any further. My first reaction was to yell back, but I didn't. At the time I didn't have any music playing in the car and so I thought I am going to pray for this lady, and so I did. Here is what I prayed, "God let this lady slow down before she ends up in an accident and hurts someone or herself. If she is not saved let her experience who you are." I have never done that before and only God knows why I did that today. I only hope and pray that God would remind me of this more often, especially when I am driving. I know I can be very impatient when in comes to driving, I dont want to be like that any more.

I challenge you with this; someone cuts you off, flips you off, yells at you while driving (in the car with you or not) lift that person up in prayer. It maybe the only time they have been prayed for. Thank you God for allowing me that experience.

Graduation Ceremony

Last night I was able to attend the graduation ceremony for Trinity. As I sat there waiting for things to get started I was hoping for a speaker that would capture my attention. Funny thing I leaned over to the person sitting next to me and said it would be great if Tony Nolan was speaking tonight (that thought only came after I saw his father-in-law sitting in the audience). Yeah, it was Tony speaking, I knew it was going to be good.I wish I had a pen and paper last night to take notes. It was better than good. Tony gave a message to the students that every young person needs to hear and be challenged with. He told them three things they need to know; Say no to the devil, say yes to God and do your best. One of the statements that he made which is so true because I have experienced it and seen it first hand and that is after a few months of newly graduating students attend church for a short period of time and then they decide this isnt for me, you cnat make me go any more, or they get so caught up in the college life they forget about God. He gave a story about a convient store clerk and how she was being robbed and the robber had a gun under his shirt and when he asked for the money the girl say no, he continued to ask and she continued to say no. The robber got angry and took his arm out and pushed everything on the counter onto the floor and the girl realized that he did not have a gun so the girl began to beat him up. We need not allow the devil to threaten us because he has been disarmed and we have victory because of who God is and what he did for us. I was so encouraged last night by Tony, I walked out going what else can I do to help assist a younger generation stand firm and say no to the devil and yes to God.

My prayer and challenge for myself.
God help me to not stop the relationships that I have developed with so many of the seniors. Help me to be an encouragement to them that they would continue in church and would seek your guidance and be in your will. Put people in their lives that will encourage, hold them accountable, and challenge them to live a life obedient to you.

Tony if you ever read this I just want to say thank you so much for who you are and for who God is in you. God has blessed you with the ability to preach his word in a way that causes every one that hears to respond. Thank you for all you do.

Crazy Love by Francis Chan

Ok, so I started reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan, which by the way is eye opening. I am not much of a reader but I cant put it down. The second chapter was about life being so short and what we are doing with our lives during the short period. I am reminded of several different stories about death and how my heart breaks when I hear about someone dying. Why is death so hard for us (me to deal with)? I guess I understand death and that there are two places you go when you die, thank you God that you loved me enough to send your son so that I could spend eternity with you, are you going to heaven or hell? Such a simple question but yet there are such distorted answers as to where there destination lies and why. I know I am going to heaven because I put my faith and trust in God, the God who created this world, the God you allowed His Son to die a painful, horrific death so that I can be with Him in eternity. Just that last statement sends chills up my spine.What a great example of love. With the stories that I have heard about death I have wondered what God was up to. There are three no four stories of parents loosing a child, I have either read it through someones blog or on the news. I first read a blog about Todd and Angie of which I have never met but my heart broke when I read the story of their daughter dying after spending a very short few hours with them. The next was of Steven Curtis Chapman and his family dealing with the death of their adopted daughter after a tragic accident, a member of my brothers church finally getting to take their premature baby home after weeks of being in the hospital and the baby dieing of SIDS, and now another member of Todd and Angie's family loose their infant. A very close family friend dealing with the lose of both grandparents dieing on the same day. God I dont understand but I trust that you are in control of every situation. I think about Angie and Todd and baby Audrey and how her life and story are touching the lives of others, God is in control, I am amazed at how God would use death to bring salvation.

Yes, I know I started this blog out by talking about a book I am reading and now I am talking about death. Here is the point to this. Our life here on earth is so short like the dash between dates on a tomb. I have to ask myself what kind of legacy will I leave behind. Will people attend my funeral (morbid thought I know) and say wow, she really lived her life for God or will they say nothing. I want my life to count for Christ. May my life leave a lasting impression on the people that knew me. Are you making your life count and for what is it counting for?

For those you reading this that are mourning the lose of a loved one. Please know that I am praying for God peace to be with and may his outstretched arms give you comfort. God is in control of every situation both good and bad and he has a perfect plan that is being played out every second of everyday.

Making People Think Before They Speak

Here is a funny story but yet someone serious. As I was walking back to my class after lunch I walked into another teacher's room and as usual we were picking on each other. I guess I some what hit a nerve with one comment and he says "I almost forgot you have christian ears and I almost said something really bad." I was caught off guard. People at work are thinking before they say things around me, wow God is even working in the lives of my co-workers. I have had conversations with some of my co-workers about church and ministry but never did I think it would result in them watching what they say to me or around me. I have their respect, which is hard at time for me to understand. I have asked myself many times if people I come in contact with see Christ in me, am I representing who God is, what am I doing to leave a lasting impression on the people I work with and the students I teach? I guess this was an answer to one of the questions. I dont know what I did or even said to make him not say what he wanted to say but thank God he didnt. I hear the language every day from my students which drives me crazy, which now when they say something they apologize for what they said. So here is a challenge for you. What impression are you leaving on the people you come in contact with? Can they tell you are different, a christian by what you say and your actions? The next time you hear a bad word, or some one uses God's name in vain I challenge you in a polite way to say some thing to them. I have multiple times made comments to students as well as adults about the language they use and I guess today it paid off because this teacher refrained from saying what he thought because I have christian ears.

What I think I am worth vs. What He thinks I am worth

I just read this blog that made me think about how much God loves me and my worth to him. I can't even begin to comprehend that God loves and values me so much that he allowed the ultimate sacrifice of His Son so that I would be able to live with Him forever. This goes with part of a song that I have heard. " I am worth something to the King." Don't ever let someone tell you, you are worthless. Reminder yourself ever day that you are worth some thing to the King.



Matt 10:29-31 (nlt)

29 What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin[? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. 30 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.

Romans 5:7-8 (TM)

We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.

Breeze On My Face

As I sit here writing the blog before this one there was a nice breeze that was blowing and I couldnt help but to the think and acknowledge that God is right here with me reading my blog over my shoulder. I am so grateful to serve a God that says He will never leave me now forsake me. Praise God that he is in control of every situation whether good or bad. Thank God for this day.

I pray for the men and women who are serving our country whether they are here in the United Sates or some where over seas. Thank you all you do. I pray that God will keep you safe and bring you home to your family. There are not enough words to express how grateful I am to you that serve for defending this country and our (my) freedom. God bless and may he keep you safe.

Distraught Teacher

As most of you who read this know that I teacher high school students and then go to an after school program at an elementary school where I have second grade. Well, Friday after a while of being outside playing on the playground we decided to go inside and watch a movie. Not long after we had been inside my sister (who is the after school director also 5th grade teacher) came and pulled me into the teacher's lounge and this is what was said to me. "The cops are here as well as DCF doing an investigation on one of your second graders, she made a comment to her teacher that her Dad had beat her and so she called DCF this moring and now they are here." At that point I started to cry and my heart sunk for this child. I dont understand any of this. The next thing I know is that I was pulled into the office and questioned on things that I had noticed with the child which wasnt much. When I first walked down there I thought I cant do this, then I ask God to control the tears and emotions that I was feeling because if this was true action needed to be taken and quickly. As I was talking to the cop before I ever answered I think he could tell that I was a little upset about the situation; he says to be "I am not here to intimadate you or put words into your mouth we just want to know if you have noticed anything out of the ordinary." I felt better at that point. I know that every once in a while children do things to where they need to be punished but I saw a different side to punishiment this past week. I have heard about how children get beat and never really thought twice about it. As a teacher I never thought I would have to have dealt with this first hand either. I am the type of person that likes to fix things when they are broken or when some thing is wrong but there was nothing that I could do. My heart broke for this child once I heard later all the details. I pray that God will intervine and take care of this child. I dont know what else to say except please pray for this child and the family. There are two other children and pray as well that the mother will get things straight and not let the man back in the house that beat the child.

God help me to have compassion for the children that I come in contact with everyday. Give me the will to have a love for them the way you love them.
"Great thing have yet to come and great things are still to be done in this city" For some reason this song has been on my mind since this took place. I also pray that maybe God would help to reach out the this women and encourage her to go to church or at least share the love of God with her. Thank you for reading.

Getting out Of My Comfort Zone

Last night Kevin taught on our Fuel for God and that this type of fuel is getting out of the comfort zone. Man, am I a person that really likes my comfort zone. When Kevin made the comment about remaining in our comfort zone is us being selfish, I was really convicted. I know at times I can be very selfish, but I dont want to be that way any more. God really showed me last night that He has more for my life than just this. I have to allow him to remove me from my comfort zone and do his will. It is more evident that God wants me to share the message with females about how much God loves them and that we need not focus on the physical or relationshups but rather focus on Him. As I have shared before about the vision God has given me I am now seeing that doors are slowly opening. I was talking to a friend just the other day about this and asking them to pray for me and I realized that I needed to seek more prayer and really ask God to open doors. I do feel that God is taking me out of my comfort zone and moving me to an area of ministry that is so not who I think I am. But isnt ministry doing what we never thought we could do. I have been challenged to allow God to take me out of my comfortzone. I challenge those that read this ask God to remove or take you out of your comfort zone. In the end it will be a Blessing.

Frustration/Strange Feeling

On Sunday Steve Whitcomb preached on circumstances and the fact that God is in control and can change our circumstances instantly. I was reminded about a situation one of our members was in not too long ago. Back around Easter a friend was in the hospital sick (very sick) but one day God gave him a miracle and changed his circumstances. As I sat and listened to Mr. Steve I thought about Sean and how God brought him out of that, and I was so encouraged. So, this brings me to write this in my blog.

The last few days have some what been frustrating to me, I didnt understand why until now. My quiet time just wasnt what I thought or wanted it to be. I feel like I havent really focused on the word or gotten anything out of it. (I thought maybe I am just stressed with it being the end of the year and so much is going on.) Nope that is not it. Yesterday I got an email from a co-worker (speech guy) and he said he had a cd for if he remembered to bring it. Well, he is only here at Ed White for three days Wednesday - Friday. Today is Tuesday and I see him coming out of his office. He stated that he had stopped by to bring me the CD. It hit me then that my frustrations are nothing but myself. I am in awe again at how God works and knows just what I need. I very much a music person and I am so encouraged by his thoughtfulness. So, as I sit here typing this blog I am reminded of how God will put people in our paths to encourage, to challenge, to minister and so many other things. I am reminded of the vision that God gave me a while back and had to ask myself what am I doing to seek after this vision. I feel like my frustration and complacency is because I have stopped seeking God's vision and pursuing what he wants for me. Please pray with me a for me that I will continue to seek God's will and his vision for my life. I hope I am not alone is this feeling and that everyone every once in a while go through the same things.

God I ask that you show me your will in my life, help me to seek the vision that you have given me. I want my life to be a reflection of you. I hope that you allow me to be to some one what Sam was to me today, and encouragement and friend. Thank you for sending Christians into my life and path every day. I also pray for the young man that asked me for money on Saturday, allow him to continue to cross Christians and that if he is not saved show him your Grace and Mercy. Amen.

My kids are growing up.LOL :-(

In our small groups Wednesday after the message Kaley and I were talking about how tings are quickly closing for the seniors. Wow, I cant believe they are grown. It seems like just yesterday that they entered into the youth. This is the first group that I saw come into the youth and are now graduating. I feel special to have been a part of this and to see each of you grow in so many different ways. (Ok the tears are starting to well up in my eyes) I cant begin to tell you how proud I am of each of you in so many different areas. I have seen excitement in your lives and I have seen disappointment as well but it doesnt end here. You have a life time ahead of you. Continue to allow God to be the focus of your life as well as allow him to guide your decisions. Here is a little something for each of you to read.

Thoughts about each of you:

Trey - Even though you think I dont like (which that is not true) I want you to know that you are such an encouraging person. I have seen you really grow over the last few years and I want you to know how proud I am of you. Keep living for God!

Micah - I have so many memories of you that all I can do is laugh at you. My first encounter with you was my first year at children's camp out in the hot tub and what you said to me. I still laugh to this day. You are very talented with your artistic ability, maybe one day I can tell people I personally know the artist of that picture. I was in awe at the pictures you painted for the easter production. You are so level headed and very laid back; you never let things bother you.

Chelsey - I dont think I have enough space for all that I could say about you. You are very talented with your drama and singing. Keep allowing God to use the gifts he has given you. You have a personality that will allow you to make friends easily where ever you are. Dont ever let someone tell you, you need to change. If there was one thing I could give you for graduation it would be a navigation system so that you wouldnt get lost any more. Oh yeah, I almost forgot the trip to Beal's Outlet. Love Ya!

Kaley - I am so proud of all that you have done and all that you have become. You are such an encouragement to me and you have kept me on my toes. I have enjoyed all these years of you being in my group. I look back and have so many memories of long talks, you and others telling me to move over because the gang is coming in (camp nights). Going to the refrigerator and telling me I have nothing for you to eat and then laughing at Chelsey because she is eating fruit instead of junk. Taking pictures of random things or you trying on clothes and getting me to take the picture. Telling me what I should wear for church. Making fun of me because I take multiple showers a day. I am truly blessed for having you in my group.

Justin - What a genius, I feel sometimes intimidated by you and your intelligence. I know that God has great things planned for you. I see you one day being a pastor, you are gifted with that. You have great ideas for drama and I hope to see them played out one day. Dont let anything or anyone keep you from doing what God has called you to do.

Hannah - You are such an inspiration. I am amazed at the memorization of scripture that you have. I wish I could memorize like that. You are such a wonderful person and you always have a good attitude about yourself and always carry a smile. I wish all the best in your future.

kelsey - Wow, what a beautiful young lady you have become. I remember your first night in the youth, you sat next to Jeff and didnt say a word. You are a very talented and inspiring young lady keep working hard for all that you want in life. A memory that I have of you is you being so gassy,,,,That was probably my second experience with you. You are such a dare devil always willing to try anything. Continue to be courageous. I will miss you!

I love you all as if you were my own. I will pray for you all. I wish you all the best of luck and pray that God will continue to bless each and every one of you. Please know that just because you are going into college and career that I have stopped being there for you, I will always be here for what ever you need. Congratulations.

Love you,
Jenny

Amazing Grace

Monday evening I had gotten a phone call from my mom regarding some bad news. I was really taken back; I didn't know what to say. When I hung up the phone my heart broke. Jana (Bubba's girl friend) and Lindsay (Jana's sister) had gotten news earlier in the day that both of their grandparents had passed away. Knowing that the grandmother had been dealing with cancer I couldn't believe what I was told. What is murder suicide? I couldn't bring myself to call either one of them because I know how I am and I didn't want to make things worse for them. So, I sent a text and told them that I was here for what ever they needed and that I loved them. The next morning when I got to work I check the news from yesterday to see exactly what happened. I don't want to go into detail about it but it was a murder suicide. My heart sunk, what do you say, how to you comfort. Well, I know that I just needed to show them that I was there for whatever they needed and let them know how much I care for them. Tommy Mallard did the service and it was awesome. God gave him just the right words to say. I believe that if Dennis and Sandy were believers in God then they are in heaven. I can only trust in what God words says.

I don't do well at funerals especially when they play Amazing Grace. Yes, it was played and the only thing that I could think of was Mama (my grandmother) being there to welcome them when they got to heaven. I cried for Jana and Lindsay and the fact that they are dealing with this. I pray that God would give them comfort and peace through all of this. God's grace is amazing and sufficient. I remember what helped me get through the passing of my grandmother and that is "To be absent from the body it to be present with the Lord" I do pray that Jana, Lindsay and their family can find comfort in those words.

Lesson Learned Emotional Banking

On Wednesday I had workshop that I attended off school campus. During the training one of the instructors asked if we had ever heard of the emotional banking system. Ok, I must say I found this a little odd until she explained what it was. Here is the explanation of emotional banking.

Like in a real banking situation you are making deposits and withdraws but in a different way and definitely not using money. This is dealing with students (people). Before you can ever make a withdraw you have to invest in the student or person. Be encouraging, be kind, share kind words, and be a positive influence f or them. THe withdraw is explaining life lessons or maybe you don't agree with some thing they did or just letting them know they are wrong. Once I realized what she was talking about I understood and it all made sense to me. This is how I want to be with my students at work as well as at church. I want to make investments in their lives so that when some things develops (and it will) I have the relationship that will allow me to be real with the students. I want my students to know that I care about them and want to see them succeed in what ever they are doing. ( as long as it is legal)

How are you investing in the lives of those around you? I challenge those reading this to practice this emotional banking system and let me know how it works. You will have a different relationship with the people you come in contact with whether it be from teaching, pastoring, parenting, marriage, dating, and all other friendships developed. I look forward to hearing how you have experienced emotional banking.

Teacher appreciation week!

Ok, so this week is teacher appreciation week in which administration and students do things for teachers to say thanks. I was a little bummed on Wednesday because I had training off school grounds and this was the day the school provided lunch for hte teachers. I was feeling a little left out and unappreciated. :-( I had a little pitty party for myself. This morning when I went to my teacher mailbox to get the things I needed for the day I had a letter from a student. Here is what is read: "Dear Ms. Smith I am just writing this letter to say thank you for being my teacher this year. I know that you pushed us hard becasue you cared about us. You taught me that life was not going to be easy. Plus that you have to work hard to get far in this world. So I am just writing you to say thank you for all your help." After I read that I thought how stupid of me to have felt the way that I felt. I was so appreciative of this student. It made my day. I know that teaching is my calling in life and I love my students even when they drive me to think I need counseling. (Those that know what and who I teacher will understand that comment.)I thank God everyday that he has giving me the ability to teach and care for students the way I do. Without Him I never would have done this. I pray for my students all the time because I know that most of them have a rough home life. I know I have students that are lost and dont believe or believe but dont have a relationship with God. I hope that I am an example to them of the love the God has for them. So

So to all the teachers out in the world, thank you for what you do. One day we will see the lives that we touch and encourage every day.

Unequally Yoked

How do you explain to some one that a believer should not date a non-believer? I have tried to explain that I am not willing to compromise what God has planned for me or wants for me just so I can have a boyfriend or the title of being some ones girlfriend. Because of who I am in Christ that person who is an unbeliever does not have the right to call me his girlfriend. (I will explain that later.) The word states in 2Corinthians6:14 Do not be yoked together with the unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wiskedness have in common? Or wha fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said; "I will live with them and walk among them, and iwill be their God, and they will be my people." 17 " Therefore come out from them and be seperate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you." (NIV) Now this does not mean that we cant be friends with them and tell them about God and show them love. It does however mean that we should not date/marry a person that is not saved. There are a lot of people in this world that are good people but without God as their savior their thought process is and should be different from what I or any other Christian thinks. I go back to the lesson we just finished on Wednesday about the Venti Life and how to live the Venti Life and that is to be OBEDIENT. I by no means perfect my for the time I am here on this earth I will through Christ do the best that I can to live an obedient life. I want to experience the VENTI LIFE. John 10:10 I have come that you may have life and that you may have it more abundantly. In the end I pray that we all see what God is saying and why God is saying that we should not be with some one that is not yoked with an unbeliever.

Kids!Students!

So most you know that I am a teacher at Ed White High school and there are over 2,000 students that attend the school. I must say that this is a dark place. Today during third period all of my student were out on a field trip so I really didnt have a class during this time. I ended up having two students in my room that I dont even know one of which was just asking for a band aid and I figured that they would go back to class. They began to talk to me and tell about their friends here at school. I found out that they are friends with one of the students of PLBC and then a bother of another one of our students. I began to ask them why they didnt go to church. The brother stated that he had been to PLBC before a few weeks ago and began to name some of the students that attend.(I didn't believe him at first) They started telling me that they dont go to church because one time they went a supposedly got arrested while they were there. Wonder what they were up to? Well, I continued to talk to them trying to figure out a few things about them and then I told them that they needed to go to church to get their life right. Maybe that wasnt the best comment to make but it was and is true. I do hope that they will go to church maybe even PLBC. Just the few minutes that they spent in my room I heard a lot of bad stories about what they have done.(Blows my mnd to know that kids really do that stuff, pretty bad) They are friends with one student that I have been praying for since the beginning of the school year. So, now I add these two boys to my prayer list. Of course I pray for the entire school but I do have specifics that I pray for. So tonight as we meet up at starbucks I now have two more people to pray for. It is wierd that the year is almost over and these two boys came into my room, God is up to something and I cant wait to see what it is. There is nothing accidental or coincidental about God. I pray that God will continue to use me in every area whether it be as a teacher, a friend, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a grandchild, a niece or any other title that I take on; give me the ability to let your light shine so that people may see you Jesus in me.

Rainbows

Today as it rained I thought how awesome it would be to see a rainbow. A little after 7pm I was turning down the street to go home and I saw a rainbow. At that time I was reminded of all the promises God has made and just how awesome God is. The one main promise that I was reminded of is the promise of his return. What an awesome day that will be. I look forward to the day that I stand before God and hear "well done good and faithful servant." I hope that those of you reading this will be able to hear the same thing. Are you aware of the promises of God? Are you ready to face the creator of this world or are you afraid of what will be said to you in return?Or maybe you are ashamed of what you will be asked about the disbelief in your life? I can tell you how to not be afraid of that day. The God of this Universe wants to spend eternity with you. He loves you so much that he allowed his son to pay our pentalty.

National Day of Prayer

May the 1st is the National day of prayer. I have told several people that I would like to get a group together to meet up at StarBucks on Roosevelt and pray together. I figured since everyone likes coffee it would be a great place to meet and pray together. Here are some thing that I am and will be praying for. Please be in prayer with me about these topics and concerns. Thank you.

Our Nation
The men and women serving our country in Irag and other places
The elections coming up in November
The Economy (rising prices)
Schools (particular students where I teach)
God's vision on Image lesson (don have a particular name for it yet)
Our Youth PLBC
Youth Camp
Children's Camp
Lost Friends and Family

I plan on being there around 7:30pm looking forward to a great prayer time together.

Everlasting

On Wednesday I was listening to a song we were playing during worship and it became a prayer for me. Here are the lyrics to Everlasting by Hillsong.

A thousand times I've failed
still your mercy remains
and should I stumble again
I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades
never ending your glory goes beyond all fame
Your will above all else
My purpose remains The art of losing myself
In bringing you praise
Everlasting your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending your glory goes beyond all fame
My heart and my soul Lord I give you control consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise become my embrace to love you from the inside out.

I pray that my life is a reflection of this song.

Red Birds

A little over a year ago I was dealing with an issue (singleness) and really wanted a sign from that God I would not be single for the rest of my life. Around February of 2007 I started praying I would know that God wasn't going to let me be single for ever so I asked God to show me a red bird. I must say that I didn't see this bird instantly it took some time. I can tell you to this day (4-23-08) I have seen many red birds. The first time I saw the red bird I was on a mission trip (in Georgia helping fix up a church) with the youth of my church. We were outside sitting at a table when across the way I saw the red bird. I was reminded at that point of what I had been praying for as well as the promises that God had made for his Children. That day I knew that God wasn't going to let me be single for ever. The next time I saw the red bird I was at the beach on vacation and the bird flew over me while I was sitting by the pool. (Now how many times do you see a red bird at the beach) Just a few weeks ago I was taking one of my girls home from church and just as she was getting out of the car I saw a red bird fly in front of my car. Then when I was at a retreat with our youth I saw three red birds, thanks Chelsea for pointing them out to me. Then yesterday I was driving down the road to my house and I saw another red bird. I was so excited. Not only does this remind me of the promises God has made but it also reminds me that God is in control and I need to trust Him and wait for His time. God knows what he is doing and will provide just the right man for my life that will compliment and support me the way a godly man should.

Vision

Ok, so I have decided to share the vision that God has given me so that people who know me or read this can be praying for me and with me on this. So here is goes. Last month we took our youth on a weekend retreat "Look" which was to discuss purity. I didnt want to use the same lesson I had done before on this so I wanted some different thoughts. Kevin (PLBC youth pastor) gave me some direction to go in. He told me to talk about image and how we are viewed then he gave me three topics and it all dealt with how we dress, how we are viewed and how God views us. My main vocus was for the girls to see that society should not dictate to us how we should look. God created us and he loves us just the way we are. Of course I went into much greater detail. (maybe one day I will post my notes) So here is where the vision comes into play. After that lesson I was beside myself as to how God moved and showed up for the lesson and took over. It was awesome, I told Kevin I was on a high after that. So, I knew that God wanted to do more with that and said that it would be great if I could share this with my brothers youth in Lake City. Well, the weekend of passion came and the first night I was sitting there I felt as though God was saying Jenny this is what I want for you, a large crowd, you on stage and sharing with women how God views them. My first thought yeah right. Me infront of hundereds of people will never happen much less thousands, no way God. The second night the vision was clear God was telling me and showing me that he wants this message to go further. I dont know if it is me that will be teaching the lesson or me being used to help promote the lesson, not sure but I am open to what ever God wants me to do with this. So, prayerfully I will be updating this blog to share how God is moving this vision. My prayer is that I will not hinder God in this, if it is me that he wants to share this message then by all means God use my mouth to teach this lesson. One more thing, the last night I did see myself standing on the stage infront of the crowd telling them how much God loves them. That was very scary for me. So many things have invisioned my brain on this whole idea. Hear are the others, t-shirt design, band,theme song, traveling, contact people. I am not creative but God is and he is giving me the thoughts to continue this vision. I want to be used by God.

Discontent

Yesterday I met two friends for lunch and I hadnt seen one of them in a few months. As we were sitting there at lunch discussing what all was happening in our lives Monique asked me why the discontent. I was taken off guard by her statement. Me discontent, no I am good. The more we talked and the more she listened she asked again "Jenny why are you discontent?" I really didnt know what to say because I didnt think I was. I began talking to her about my passion weekend and then briefly started to tell her about the vision God was showing me (but I didnt go into detail yet). She began asking me some question so I finally told her the entire vision. She was speechless as was my other friend Holly who knows that this is way out of my comfort zone. Monique started to tell me how the process was going and what my next steps were, I told her that I didnt know the process or the next step that I was waiting to see what God was going to do next. After we left lunch her comment to me of discontent rang through my head. Am I discontent and why? Maybe it was my tone or that fact that I havent felt 100% since I got home from passion. As I was working out in the yard again I started to pray and ask God if I was discontent and if so then show me why and how to move on. I felt like God was showing me not only during the prayer time but also with Monique and Holly that I was discontent with myself in that I have not been doing anything about the vision that God has given me. Yes, I need to wait on him but He wants us to put the feet to our prayer at times. I am reminded of a conversation I had with my brother and the verse that he gave me was Matthew 7: 7-12 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how t give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the law and the prophets."

I will continue to seek God about this and knock and see what doors are open. If God continues to give me this vision then doors will be open in areas that will move this vision into reality